Faith
by trueloveexists99
Summary: What would of have happened if Jamie and Eddie had met before her first day as a probationary officer? After his break-up with Sydney, Jamie decides to drown his sorrows at the nearest bar where he meets a feisty, gorgeous blonde. Just where will the night take them?
1. First Meeting

**A/N: Welcome to my new story. I don't where I came up with this and I honestly have no idea where it will take me, but we shall see where it goes.**

 **Please enjoy.**

 ** _Chapter 1:_**

I down my fourth whiskey, the alcoholic beverage leaving a burning trail in its wake.

Jamieson Reagan is my name, but I prefer Jamie. I'm a Harvard Law graduate and a probationary Patrol Officer for the New York Police Department. Yet, here is sit, alone in a bar, mourning the loss of what my future could have been. It was only a mere 13 hours ago that Sydney, my fiancé, decided that a life as a cop's wife was not what she wanted in her future.

I suppose I should get used to saying ex-fiancé at this point.

I couldn't blame her really. After the I.A investigation into what happened in Chinatown, and my desperate need to secretly discover what truly happened to my brother Joe, I could see why she thought we were drifting apart.

I stare into nothing but space, until the bartender dutifully walks her way over to me, and places an unrequested fifth whiskey in front of me.

"I didn't order this," I state, looking at her with a pointed expression.

"I know sugar, but you looked like you could use it," replied the bartender with a wink before walking away to serve the last remaining customers that lingered within the bar.

I was to busy watching her leave, that I didn't notice the petite blonde settle in the barstool next to mine.

"Why is that I've been standing here for 10 minutes trying to be served, and you practically have the severely Botox injected bartender giving away free drinks to you," the unknown voice commented.

Jamie turned his head, prepared to a pick a fight with the intrusive voice, but halted, when he saw face of who the voice belonged too.

She had blonde hair, and if she were to be in the sun, I knew it would glow with a defining radiance. Her eyes were a blazing shade of blue, alluring many in. The smirk she was supplying me with indicated that she knew I was staring.

"Well, if you're going to stare, the least you could do is get the bartender to get me a drink,"

I gave an embarrassing snort, but the smile I receive was worth it. So, the girl was beautiful and had an attitude. I raised an eyebrow with a mirroring smirk, before I waved down the bartender.

She gave me an appreciative smile.

"My hero," she comments sarcastically.

I watch her in way that is no way intended to be creepy. I shouldn't even have thoughts of staring at another woman, when just mere hours ago, the woman I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, left. But there was something about her that magnetised her to me.

"Jamie," I suddenly supply to her.

"Sorry?" she replies confused.

"My name. Its Jamie," I clarify.

I watch as she closes her eyes in contentment before she opens her eyes and murmurs my name.

The ease and softness in which it leaves her lips has got me thinking seriously impure thoughts.

I wait diligently for to provide me with her name, but it never comes. What does, is her drink and I watch as she picks it up and leaves.

"Wait!" I call out to her retreating form.

She stops with a quiet ease and slowly turns around. Her silences informs me that she is waiting for me to speak.

"You never told me your name. I like to know that name of a pretty girl who basically called me out on my shit."

I watch as the small chuckle leaves her lips, before she tilts her head to rest in a thinking motion.

"I'll tell you what, if you can beat me in a game of darts and buy me a 2-for-1 wing deal, then I will consider it," she states boldly.

I place a twenty on the bar, as it occurred to me that she never payed for her drink, and I was raised to always show appreciation, before I got up to follow her to the back. I pulled over the problematic bartender and asked if she could see about sourcing those damn wings that my mystery girl wanted. She put up a fuss, but I believe the generous tip that I provided her with swayed her decision.

I come to a stop on the opposite side of the small, round table.

"So, I win a game of darts and buy you the wing special, and then I get your name? Sounds like a pretty easy bet to me," I state with a smirk.

She drops her head back in pure laughter. It's a sound that I could hear for the rest of my life.

Did I really just think that?

"But Jamie, you haven't even seen me play darts."

The strength in which she says that with, has left me slightly worried.

Just what, have I gotten myself into?

 _3 hours later_

I've officially lost count of the number of shots that I have had in the last 20 minutes.

I vaguely hear in the distance the bartender yell last call and while I know that I should leave, due to an early tour tomorrow, I couldn't bear to leave her.

Yeah, that's right, I didn't win at darts. Apparently, I had to achieve both wining darts and buying her wings in order for me to be gifted with the privilege of knowing her name.

"God, do you ever wish that you could just get away from it all?"

"All the time," I reply softly, staring into those glamorous eyes of hers.

A cloud of peaceful silence falls between us, providing an unknown comfort. It's almost known to each of us that neither wants to leave.

"We should probably get outta here. Botox over there keeps giving us a look. Law says they can't kicks us out for another 2 minutes and 32 seconds, but I can practically see the death glares," I say quietly.

Her giggle lets me know it was appreciated.

"Come with me," she demands, rather than questions

I should be flabbergasted at her suggestion, the polite man I was raised to be, shocked by her admission. But I just spent the last three hours with the girl. I honestly shouldn't be surprised by her boldness.

"Where?" I find myself asking.

"There's this place that I know; has a great view."

I find myself trusting her. I know I shouldn't, but there was something so…calming about her that told me that it was okay. I almost feel guilting for not telling her about what I do, or who my family is.

"Okay"

She offers her me her hand and without a moment of hesitation, I entwine it with my own. It fit with perfection. Almost as if it was exactly where it is meant to be.

 _20 minutes later:_

As we exit the 34th Street- Herald Square station, I gather my bearings, knowing exactly where we were, but I didn't want to jump to conclusion.

"Come on, it's only a few minutes by walking," she states, dragging me along in the process.

After a few minutes, we come to a sudden stop in front of one of the most known buildings in the world. I thought she was just playing a joke on me when I man came to open the revolving door, allowing us to gain access.

"Seriously?" I ask with trepidation

She shrugs her shoulders, as if it were a stupid question.

"I have connections," was the only explanation she provided.

We trudged through the building, the elevator ride ridden in silence.

The mysterious man who unlocked the front door lead us to the last remaining door and unlocked it.

My blonde-headed beauty placed her hand on the handle but before she pushed it open, I asked once more if it was okay that we were doing this. The confidence in which she nodded with eased my nerves. Slightly.

The view blew me away.

No matter how many times I see this city, seeing the nightlife of New York City from the Empire State Building was breathtaking.

"I love this city," she comments, leaning her head back and inhaling a deep breath.

I tear myself away from the magnificent views around me and stare at the beautiful woman in front of me. I slowly make my way to stand next to her, stopping with only mere millimetres between us.

"When my mother died, this is the place I came too. I wanted somewhere that I could just breath and remind myself that there was something greater in the world than loss and pain," she softly commented.

It was the most personal thing we had shared with each other all night. We had skirted around most of it, only really sharing what was needed.

"I know what that is like," I replied with the same tone.

The silent conversation in which we shared told me that she wanted me to continue.

"My mother died a few years ago and the way I dealt with it was to get in my car and drive. I just drove for miles until I came to this spot, that had the greatest view of New York City. Granted, it was like a small blimp. Couldn't really make out anything, except that you knew that it was the city. But in that moment, as I was alone and staring at the most beautiful city in the world, I finally felt as if I could breathe."

"I know what that's like," she comments softly.

I move my hand to rest next to hers. My little finger resting slightly over hers.

"Eddie," she says suddenly before turning to face me. The height difference only minimal with the presence of her heels.

"Sorry?" I asked confused.

She steps closer, leaving only our chests to touch. I can hear her erratically beating heart rate. I wrap my arms around her petite waist, my fingers interlocking.

"My name. Its Eddie," she whispers, taking my jacket in her hands.

"I like it," I say as I allow my head to fall.

She goes to say something else but I stop her. I allow my lips to fall on hers. Their softness was everything that I expected.

Eddie's hands moved up my chest until they wrapped themselves around my neck.

I let my tongue leave my mouth, asking for permission to enter hers. She grants it and soon, her own joins the battle for dominance.

I don't how long we go at it for, but I feel her hands leave my neck and just when I think she'll pull away, her hands go for my jacket, pushing it slowly off my shoulders. That's when I pull away.

"Wait! We can't do this up here. There's cameras everywhere and I was raised to treat women the right way. Believe me, I want to do this, but I feel as if it needs to be in a more respectable area. Like a bed," I state.

Eddie pushes off her own jacket before moving to the buttons on my shirt.

"Jamie, live a little. For once, don't be a boy scout. I love the fact that there are a few decent men left in this world who still treat woman right, but honestly, if I have to wait any longer for you, then I am going to combust."

I have no idea how she manages to convince me, but she does. All laws that we would be breaking skim through my brain as I try to come up with a reason to stop us.

But nothing convinces me. In fact, it does the opposite.

I pull Eddie down to the ground with me, making sure that my jacket that she had previously discarded provided her some comfort.

The passion that overtook us in that moment was incomparable to anything else I had experienced. A part of me felt guilty for how quick I managed to move on from Sydney, but the gentle yet raw devotion in which we shared in those hours was earth-shattering. And made everything worth it.

I don't know how long we were at it for. There were multiple rounds and as we watched dawn break, we laid there in the peaceful silence until sleep over took us.

It wasn't until I stumbled back into the land of the living, that I realised that my blonde-haired beauty was no longer with me. Instead, my arm was used as a paperweight, not a head rest. I sit up slowly and pulled the scrunched-up note in front of me.

 _Jamie,_

 _I'm sorry I left. I had places to be._

 _I am so thankful that I walked into the bar last night._

 _You're about the best damn thing to of happened to me in a long time._

 _Maybe we'll met again one day. I'm a big believer in fate after all._

 _Till next time boy scout._

 _Love,_

 _Eddie_

 _P.S. I already told Frankie to let you out. He knows your still up here and is sworn to secrecy._

Eddie didn't leave a number. I had no way of contacting her.

I guess I just had to take her word for it.

Faith after all, is something I'm good at believing in.

 **A/N** : Please let me know what you think. I love myself some Jamko and think it a underappreciated couple. Brutal honesty is always appreciated.


	2. Discoveries

**A/N: OH. MY. GOD! I am blown away by the response to this story. It is only my second story that I've posted, but it appears that many like my writing. If I could thank all of you individually I would, but I would run out of words of gratitude. I hope you enjoy this new chapter. I don't know what my schedule of updating will be because I am heading towards exams (I'm an Aussie) and I will be focusing on them, but whenever I have time, I will update.**

 **I also apologise for any spelling, grammar or technical errors made in this chapter.**

 **Also, I don't own Blue Bloods or anything related to it. I just play with two of my severely underappreciated characters.**

Chapter 2:

 _One Year Later:_

The bruises that were scattered along my ribs pulsated with each step that I took out of the subway steps.

Despite it being a week since I basically got my arse handed to me by Bianca's ex-boyfriend, the scars still lingered. The bitter wind that remained from the city's winter wasn't helping the matter at all.

The pushing and shoving which surrounds me causes me to lift my head up. The result of this action left me more breathless. If that was even possible.

It was the golden blond locks that attracted my attention. At first, I thought it was just another blond New Yorker, but I recognised that bold walk and the everlasting curves. There hasn't been a day where I haven't thought about Eddie or the night we shared. I have many regrets in those two hours in which I fell asleep and she took off. Mainly the way I consistently punish myself for not waking up and chasing after her.

But there hasn't been a day where I haven't stopped searching for her.

"Eddie!" I yelled, gaining the attention of those surrounding me.

My yell remained only a whisper when it reached her and I thought that she never heard it. But the stagger in which proceed her motions tell me otherwise.

I rush after her, but with multiple bruised ribs, the wind quickly gets rushed out of me. And in the small moment that I took to catch my breath, she quickly hurried along with her day.

"Shit!" I swore, resting my hands on my knees.

Even though I only saw the woman's back, I swear it was hear. There was something different about her though. I couldn't exactly put my finger on it.

But I did know one thing. Eddie was right; sometimes we've just got to have faith.

 _Two Years Later:_

"Danny can you pass the potatoes?" I ask, biting into my rib.

"So, a source tells me your getting a new partner tomorrow," my dad comments randomly.

"Since when do you keep tabs on whether a beat cop is getting a new partner or not?" I smirk

"Since one of my officers recently went through a harrowing experience with his last partner," he fires back in a serious tone.

The silence which blankets the table was deafening. My family knew that what happened with Vinny was a touchy subject. They reached out to me within the first few weeks that followed but I guess I just needed to process what had happened on my own. I guess it was ironic that the place I ended up going, was the Empire State Building.

Our spot.

I cleared my throat deeply, trying to ease the growing tension between the patrons of the table. It was my youngest nephew who broke the tension.

"Well who's Jamie's new partner Grandpa," questions Sean.

"All I know is that their name is Eddie Janko," dad replies.

I perk up at the name Eddie, which of course, Danny notices.

"Name ring a bell there boy scout," he raises his eyebrows which match the growing smirk on his face.

In a moment of weakness, a year ago, Danny and I got drunk, which resulted in me spilling my guts about my drunken escapades with Eddie.

Let's just say that Danny tries to take the piss out of me whenever he makes the 'boy scout' comments.

I shake my head before I provide further information for my family; "Nah, just thought I heard the name before somewhere. Must have been a collar our caught once."

Danny makes a snorting sound, drawing the attention of others.

"What is going on between you two? Danny is acting all giggly whenever certain topic of conversations are brought up," Erin questions

"Let just say that once you get a few Irish Whiskey's inside of Harvard, you'll learn all of his dirtiest secrets,"

If looks could kill, Danny Reagan would already be in the grave.

As Family Dinner progresses into dessert I can't help but think; in a population of 7 million people, could I find the woman who walked away from me two years ago.

 _The Next Night:_

Somewhere between midnight and 04:00am this morning, I got over the prospect that my new partner could be my mysterious Eddie. I mean honestly; what were the odds that my one-night stand was going to be it. 1 in 7 million to be exact.

Which got me to this point here. Standing in a scorching summer night, two minutes and 45 seconds away from starting a new tour, waiting for my new partner. Said partner who is most likely some fat, sweaty Hungarian man who probably spends half of his time on tour eating than doing real policework.

I guess I have high standards in terms of partners. The last two I've had were pretty great.

But like Dad said last night, the higher ups thought it was time that I stopped floating between partners and finally got a permanent one. I'm just not sure if I'm ready for it. Especially if this Janko individual is going to be a half-assed cop.

I pull my cold, foul tasting coffee from the roof of the RMP when I hear someone yell my name.

"Are you Reagan?"

The familiarity of the sound causes my memory to puzzle in confusion. It can't be. Can it?

I receive my answer when I turn around in reply.

"Holy Shit," I mumble under my breath

I hadn't seen her in three years. Well two, if you count the possible sighting when I stepped out of the subway.

It turns out I wasn't the only one shocked when our eyes met. She stopped short two meters away from me. The stunned expression I received informed me that she knew exactly who I was. But after her small moment of shock, she regained her composure and walked the small distance towards me with a set purpose.

"I'm Eddie Janko. Sarge says we're riding together. Guess I'm your new partner," she states.

Is she serious? She's acting like she doesn't even know who I am. I look at her lost for words.

"A…are…. are you serious?" I stutter.

"What? Were you thinking that I was some fat, sweaty Hungarian guy?" she replies.

I let out an involuntary chuckle before I shake my head and take a deep gulp.

"You don't remember me?"

"Course I do. You're the Commissioner's son. More of the golden boy than your brother from what I heard in the academy."

She has no idea who I am.

So much for being unforgettable.

I regain my composure, spluttering out some questions about her experience on the job.

Turns out she's just graduated from the academy and I was her Training Officer.

Fantastic.

I opened my mouth, prepared to suggest that us riding together wasn't the best idea, when a 10-13 call came over the radio.

Eddie raced over to the driver's side, informing me rather than asking me if she could drive. Damn.

I may be pissed off at the fact that my mystery girl has no idea as to who I am, but damn, have I missed having a little bit of bold in my life.

I almost want to change my mind when I discover just how she drives.

 _2 hours later:_

After visiting the injured officer at the hospital, I decided it would best if Eddie and I took a meal break.

We both pull up a barstool at the counter and silence fills the distance between us. I order a coffee and a pastrami on a roll and when I turn to ask Eddie what she would like, I notice her shaking hands. I take a gamble and order her what I got.

"Are you okay?" I gently ask

Eddie rubs her hands together, almost as if she is trying to scrub the remaining blood on her hands. Only there is no blood.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, before re-opening them and nodding her head shakily.

"I'm gonna need more than a non-verbal response there partner," I state softly.

She smiles softly at the term partner before replying; "Does it ever get easier? Having the blood of a fellow blue member on your hands?"

Memories of Vinny's death begin infiltrating my mind. I know what she means when she talks about having the blood of a fellow brother in blue on your hands.

"The memories will always follow you. It's what keeps you grounded and reminds you to never turn your back on someone who can't trust. And to always trust that your partner will always back you up," I offer to her in response.

"Not bad for the Commissioner's son. Sound a lot like him," she says.

I give her a soft smile; "Thank-you for saying that. It means a lot."

"Anytime."

I watch as Eddie goes to say something, but a call over the radio about a domestic disturbance interrupts her and our meal.

So much for a quiet night.

 _A few hours later:_

I'm for Eddie outside of the locker room. Turns out that besides the officer involved shooting and domestic disturbance call, Eddie and I had a pretty decent night tour. I figured we could get an early breakfast to celebrate.

Eddie walks out of the locker room, looking like an absolute beauty in plain clothes. Her red leather jacket was emphasised by the black skinny jeans. Her short legs were made longer by the brown high heeled boots.

Damn, do I sound like a girl.

"Hey Reagan, what are you waiting for?" she asks, as I lean off the wall and begin walking with her

"For you actually. I was wondering if you wanted to get an early breakfast. Celebrate your first tour?"

"I would normally never turn down an offer of food, but I can't. I actually have places to be," she replies apologetically.

We're walking down the district steps when she pulls me to a sudden stop.

"Hey boy-scout, I'm really glad we're riding together," she begins

Boy-scout. The look she gives me tells me exactly enough. Eddie Janko is my mysterious Eddie from that night three years ago. And she's known all along who I was.

"Oh god," I begin.

"Jamie, I need you to remember that I never meant to hurt you," she states sympathetically

"Hurt me? I'm mean my pride was a little, but you never hurt me. What I don't get is why you lied to me about knowing me?" I question.

She goes to reply but a small, yelling voice distracts her.

"MUMMY!"

A small sandy-blonde haired girl ran towards Eddie, who in return picked her up and squeezed her tightly.

"Hey bug! I missed you so much. How was your night with Betty?"

"It was gweat!"

Eddie turns to look at me, almost pleading me with me to forgive her.

Forgive her for what?

I look at the image in front of me. Flashbacks from the night we shared infiltrate my mind. Each soft, gentle caress. The raw, passionate kisses. And in those throws of passion, one very fine detail was forgotten and is only now being remembered. It's actually ironic that it was what wasn't remembered that night that has me now panicked.

We never used a condom.

And Eddie Janko was a mother to a small little girl, who looks to be under the age of three.

And she was the spitting image of me.

 **A/N: Thanks so much for reading! I hope this direction has not upset anyone. Brutal honesty is always appreciated. Please review and favourite.**


	3. Moment of Truth

**A/N: Thank-you to everyone who has favourited this story and left a review on the last chapter. As I said, I'm heading towards exams, but as a thank-you for all your kind words, I put together this chapter for you. I'm going to try and stick to a weekly update, if not, every two weeks.**

 **I also apologise for any spelling, grammar or technical errors made in this chapter. I've re-read it a few times, but my eyes start blurring together and I can't pick up them up as easily.**

 **Also, I don't own Blue Bloods or anything related to. I just play with two of my favourite yet severely underappreciated characters.**

Chapter 3:

There were no words which could be formed in this moment. It wasn't that I didn't try to find the words. It was just that there was a misconnection between my brain and mouth.

But I didn't need the misconnection to figure just exactly who the little girl was.

More importantly, who that little girl was to me. I just couldn't formulate the words to ask if it was true.

"Hey baby, can you do Mummy a favour and go hang out with Betty for a few minutes?" Eddie says, interrupting my revealing thoughts.

I watch as Eddie gently places the little girl down on the floor, and watches her race back to the young lady who brought her to the district, before turning her body back to me.

I go to say something, but Eddie beats me to it.

"Can we not do this here? How about we do that Breakfast you offered and I can explain everything? I'll get Betty to watch Malina for a few more hours," she hurriedly rushes out.

All I can do it nod. My desperation for answers was what kept me from blowing up on the District steps. I gave Eddie the address for the small, local dinner and said she would meet me there in 10 minutes. I ask her to give me 20 minutes.

I walk stoically towards my car before fumbling with my keys to unlock the car door. Once unlocked, I fall into the driver's seat, where realisation dawns.

I am most likely a father. To a little girl I had no idea existed. Whose first years of life I've missed out on.

I slam my hands multiple times into the steering wheel. The force in which I was hitting the steering wheel with caused the vibrations to ascend the length of my arm.

I lay my head on the headrest and pull out my phone from my gym bag, typing a quick text to Danny.

 ** _To: Danny Reagan_**

 _We have to talk._

 _Meet me at my apartment an hour from now?_

 ** _From: Jamie Reagan_**

I place my phone in the cup holder before turning the ignition on and pulling out of the parking lot.

 _20 minutes later:_

I find a car-park across the street from the diner, but I don't get out.

I check my phone to see that Danny had replied and told me he would, although he did ask what was so important.

I take a moment to myself to think. Could I really do this? Was I prepared for my entire world to change?

And it wasn't just me who's life could be affected in the next 60 minutes. Eddie's; her daughter; my family.

Could I really do this?

My mind was made up when I cast my eyes towards the diner. Eddie was sitting by the diner's window. Her hands were wrapped around a pale green coffee mug and her lip was between her teeth. The morning sunrise shaped her face so perfectly.

I owed it to myself and her, to hear the truth.

I get out of my car, rushing across the street and opening the diner door. Not before taking one final deep breath might I add.

The chiming bell gives me entrance away. Eddie quickly turns her head, standing up out of the booth to greet me.

I walk cautiously to her and sit down in the booth seat across from her. She continues to stand for a moment before taking her own deep breath and sitting down across from me.

She takes a big gulp before beginning to speak; "Thank-you for coming. I know you didn't have to. And I owe you a massive explanation. But I need you to know, before we go any further, that I never meant to hurt you."

There was a moment of silence between us, before I nodded my head in reply.

"Where would you like me to start?" she asks

"Who is she?" I figured I would start with the easiest question.

"She's my, well our, daughter. She was born on July 30th, 2011, so she has just turned two."

I interrupt her before she continues; "So she is mine? There is no possible chance that its nobody else's?"

"Are you implying that I slept around? That I opened my legs for anybody that I just happened to find attractive?"

"Well its not like you tried looking for me. How am I supposed to know if you're telling the truth?"

Soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them instantly. And I knew that Eddie didn't appreciate them because she scoffed and got up.

As she was walking past me, I grabbed her arm, preventing her from walking any further.

"Eddie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insinuate that you were lying and I'm extremely ashamed with myself for suggesting otherwise. It's just…I'm lost. And confused. And the way for me to deal with it apparently is to lash out at the wrong people. Please just sit down, and I'll sit peacefully for you to explain."

She nods her head after a moment of thinking and proceeds to sit down.

"What's her name?"

"Malina. It's Serbian for sweetheart."

Serbian? The confused look I was sporting resulted in Eddie explaining that her mother was Serbian.

"Is it just Malina Janko? Does she have a middle name?"

"She, ah, does actually. It's Josephine."

"Josephine?" The similarity to Joe's name was gut-wrenching. But at least it was being honoured, even if Eddie had no idea who Joe was.

"My Grandmother's name was Josephine. But, uh, when I found out who you were, I did a little digging into your family and found out about your brother Joe. And what happened to him. I figured it was a fitting tribute."

"Wait so you knew who I was? Before we met tonight?"

"It was in the May, just before Malina's first birthday, when I was reading the paper about the Sanfrino Family takedown and how a Reagan was involved. I remember hearing the name before, and not for the obvious reason. Anyway, I did some digging, and I came across an article about your brother, Joe. There was a photo of your entire family and I recognised your face," she offers to me.

"If you knew who I was, why didn't you come looking for me? I'm not trying to insinuate anything, I just want to know," I reply.

"I had just decided that once things settled down and I had gotten Malina into a good schedule, I was going to go into the Police Academy. When I found out who you were, I also found out that your dad is the Police Commissioner, your sister is an Assistant District Attorney and your brother is a first-grade detective. I quickly realised the odds if I found you and told you the truth."

"Odds?"

"They would have found a way to take her away from me. I was a single mother, with a shady family. I kept a child from you for the first year of her life; now two. There is no way that I could have walked out of that situation without losing Malina."

"Eddie, my family would not have done anything. Family means something to them and even though we were denied the first years of her life, they would take her away from her mother. You."

"I appreciate the sentiment Jamie, but you couldn't have promised me that," she stresses.

"I can't sit here and say that they won't be angry when they find out. They are entitled to a little anger. But, they also don't know the circumstances which have caused you to keep her from us. From me," I reply calmly

"Are you? Angry I mean."

I ponder this for a moment. Am I angry? There have been times throughout my life that I have been frustrated, but never truly angry. Well, with two exceptions. When my mother died and when I watched Vinny die in my arms. But am I angry with Eddie for keeping our child from me?

"Honestly?" I ask

"Always," Eddie replies sternly

"I don't know."

My response surprise me, but it's the best I could give Eddie at this current point in time.

"I'm okay with that," she replies softly.

For the next 40 minutes, Eddie divulges all the information about Malina as she can. Her first word, first steps, how she smiles and everything in between.

It's as we are leaving through the door that Eddie drops the bombshell question that I never pondered to ask.

"Would you like to meet her?" she asks.

"You would do that? Let me meet her so soon?" I reply, keeping my hopefulness at bay

"She knows who you are. Well at least that you exist. Once I found out who you are, I printed off a picture and put it by her crib. She knows that you're her dad," she states unexpectedly

That was the last thing I expected her to say. I pull myself out of my unexpected shock to give her an answer.

"Yes. I would love to meet her," I state confidently.

The smile that graces Eddie's face causes my own to descend on my face.

"We can discuss the details tomorrow on Tour," she states before turning and walking away.

As I watch her retreating form, it occurs to me that we are still partners. Could that still happen? Even though we weren't in a relationship, we shared a child. Are we able to stay partners?

I turn and rush to my car, knowing that Danny was probably impatiently waiting at my apartment. Didn't dare check my phone for proof of my thoughts.

 _10 minutes later:_

"Jesus kid, you've kept me waiting long enough," I hear as I enter my apartment.

"Why did I ever give you a spare key," I say with an eye roll.

The famous Danny Reagan smirks graces my presence along with the sarcastic reply; "So we share moments like this."

I shrug off my jacket and throw my keys into the bowl by the door and shuffle onto the couch.

"So, what was so urgent that I dragged myself out of bed early? On my first day off in two weeks, may I add."

I take a deep breath in before beginning a life-changing conversation with Danny.

"You might want to sit down."

The smirk falls of Danny's face, a look of concern replacing it.

"Your scaring me kid. What's happened? Are you in any sought of trouble?" Danny rushes out.

"Well, it really depends on how you want to look at it."

"Cut the shit kid and tell me what's going on."

"Do you remember when you got me drunk on Irish whiskey's, and I spilled the beans about my expeditions at the Empire State Building?"

"Yeah, and I'm never going to forget it. But why are we reminiscing about it?"

"I saw her again today. Eddie, I mean. She's my new partner."

"Your shitting me!" he bursts out into laughter.

I join in on the laughter. I guess I've never really thought about the irony of the situation.

"So that's it? You saw the girl who you shared a night with and now she is your new partner. You couldn't have told me over a text?"

"I wish that was all Danny."

I take in a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

"Danny, Eddie has a daughter. A two-year-old daughter."

"Oh."

I watch as the realisation dawns on Danny.

"Oh! Are you saying what I think your saying?"

I nod my head and watch as Danny falls onto the couch next to me in shock.

"I have a daughter."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Brutal honesty is always appreciated! Leave a review.**


	4. Brother to Brother

**A/N: What is this? An update? Wow!**

 **I am so sorry that I have not updated in ages! But as I said, I am rapidly approaching exams and it is extremely stressful. If there are any volunteers who would like to sit two 3-hour Chemistry and Math Exam's, please step forward.**

 **Any-hoozle, here is the next update. It's a little shorter than I like, but I desperately wanted to give you guys a chapter. In saying that, it hasn't been proofread properly, so please forgive the mistakes.**

 **Also, I don't own Blue Bloods or anything related to it. I just play with two of my severely underappreciated characters.**

 _Chapter 4:_

"Well fuck," Danny said quietly, yet sudden at the same time.

It's the first either of us have spoken in twenty minutes. After I dropped the bombshell on Danny, there was no quick-witted response that made me want to slap him across the head. There was just endless silence. And when you think of Danny, silence is not generally a word you would associate with him.

And it wasn't that I hadn't tried to say something either. But every time I began to say something, nothing came out. Only the strange movement of my mouth opening and closing.

"You've said nothing in twenty minutes and that's what you say? _'Well fuck.'_ I replied.

Danny lifts himself from his slouch and moves his arms out in front of him, his hands accentuating his words.

"What else do you want me to say? Congratulations baby bro! You're a dad!"

Now that was weird. I mean, I know rationally in my head that I'm a father, and I have heard Eddie call me Malina's father, but to hear someone call me a dad? It's a sensation that is going to take time getting used to.

I watch as Danny takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his hair.

"Damn, that felt weird to say that," he states.

"How do you think I feel?" I fire back.

There is another silence that falls between us before Danny begins with a series of questions.

"Well, give me that basics. What's her name? How old is she? Does she know who you are? Who we are?"

"Woah slow down. Don't forget I am still learning all of this as well,"

Danny lets out a harsh scoff and a mumbled few words.

"What was that?" I ask, but a part of me already knew what he was going to say.

"I said that it shouldn't have been that way. You shouldn't be learning all of this now. You should've been there to help decide a name, be there for your kid's birth. She kept all of this from you!"

"Believe me Danny I know! But I can't change that. Eddie can't change the decisions she's made. Only live with the consequences."

Danny rolls his eyes before he turns back to me, expectantly.

I take a deep breath, before answering his burning questions; "Her name is Malina and she is two. She will be three in July. The 30th to be exact. Um, she does know who I am, even has a picture of me in her crib. But no, she doesn't know who you are."

"How does she have a picture of you?" Of course, that would be the only thing Danny picked up on. I was hoping he would glaze over that small piece of information and only focus on the small facts about his niece.

"It's not really my place to tell this story," I start, trying to reason with Danny's rising temper.

"Like hell it is! If she knew who you were, then why didn't she come looking for you. For any of us?"

"She had her reasons Danny!" I reply stubbornly

"Whatever they were, they were pretty shit! How could you keep a child away from her father?" he yelled in response.

"I don't know!"

In truth, I still didn't understand why Eddie kept Malina from me until now. But I owed it to Eddie to explain to everyone why. Hell, maybe she can still explain it to me. Even though I told her that I understood her reasons, didn't mean I had to respect them.

"Jamie, how do you even know she is telling the truth!"

My response included a hard and disgusted face. How could Danny, a man who was raised with the same value and morals that I was, begin to fathom a thought like that?

"Because I trust her. That's not something you lie to a person about Danny."

Immediately, he provides a sarcastic snort to my claim of blind faith.

"Trust? Jamie, you shared one night with the woman. Trust doesn't form in 24-hours."

"Well it did for me. But if you don't trust her, then trust me."

Danny directs an eye roll at me before preceding to sit on the barstool at my kitchen counter. It hadn't occurred to me in this moment that through our yelling, Danny and I had migrated from the couch to a standing position.

"She looks like me."

"What?" Danny replies confused.

"Besides the lighter hair, she is the spitting image of me."

"Oh," he replies, almost accepting of the truth.

"Yeah."

I pull out the chair next to Danny and slump into the wooden object.

 _2 hours later:_

After Danny had calmed down from _my_ life-altering news, we settled into a comfortable silence. The T.V was projecting _ESPN's_ Sport Highlights from the week, but the information wasn't taken. Its purpose was to fill the silence that we had created.

I thought about broaching to topic of how Danny was feeling, but just as I begun to formulate words, I stopped myself. It shouldn't be _me_ asking how _he_ is feeling. Instead, it should be the opposite. From there, I just spent thirty uninterrupted minutes pondering whether I should be frustrated at Danny for his lack of concern towards my feelings, or content that he is not mumbling inappropriate digs at Eddie under his breath.

I am pulled out of my mindless thoughts by a question; "What are you going to tell the family?"

Truth be told, I hadn't gotten to that part yet.

I run my hands over my face, settling them at the base of my neck.

"Honestly, I don't know. What I do know, is that I am freaking nervous. I mean how do you tell your family, whose veins bleed loyalty and love, that you have a three-year-old daughter that you've just met, with a woman that you had a one-night stand with?"

"Well you had no trouble telling me. In fact, you basically used those words to describe the situation," he replies quick-wittedly.

I unwillingly release a chuckle. I am actually appreciating the return of my brother's quick-witted, yet sometimes unwanted, humour.

With an exaggerated eye-roll, I give Danny his reply; "Could you please be serious, for I don't know, once in my life?

The smirk quickly vanishes from Danny's face before a look of understanding and oddly, comfort, replaces it.

"Look kid, I honestly have no idea what to tell you. I've never been in this situation and I don't know anyone who has. But in saying that, you're the most level-headed person I know. You always have an answer for everything. And that answer if often right. Just trust you gut. It's been 99.9% right."

"99.9% right."

"Well, my gut instinct always trumps yours."

I release a chuckle and give him a brotherly shove.

"My advice, wait until you met her. Get to know her. Then tell the family at Sunday Dinner."

"Do you think that's a good idea? Telling them at Family Dinner?"

"They will all be there. The place is practically sacred ground. Besides, it's not like they can disown you. They'll just have a week to stew and get over the shock," Danny states.

"It's not me I am worried about they will disown," I mumble.

"Kid, KJ won't be disowned. Because she is half you, and that makes her family. And as you said, loyalty and love run within our blue blood,"

"Her name is Malina. Not KJ."

"Oh I know that. KJ means Kid Junior," he replies humorously.

The laughter shared between us lasted for a solid 10 minutes.

 _Later that Night:_

Danny hung around my apartment for a few hours, before he left to spend the rest of his day off with Linda and the boys.

To pass the time, I pottered around the house. Cleaning the non-existent dust from cabinets and scrubbing the already pristine dishes. I guess you could say that I was procrastinating. Or waiting for a moment. I hadn't quite decided yet.

It wasn't until the last few flutters of my eyes that my moment had come. Yeah, I labelled what I was waiting for as a moment.

My phone, sitting on the bedside table, buzzed. I blindly reached for it, squinting from the bright light. _Unknown Number_ provides little detail who would be wanting to contact me at this unusual hour.

 _From Unknown Number:_

 _I've spent the last five hours staring at my phone debating whether to text you or not. I kinda got your number of Renzulli. Made up some B.S excuse that you forgot to give it to me. Anyway, how does this Saturday sound? Around 9am? I know that sounds early, but Malina and I would have already been up for three hours at that point. This is Eddie by the way. If you haven't figured that out yet. Just, let me know if 9am Saturday works for you._

 _~E xx_

Despite the lack of knowledge on the number and Eddie only mentioning it was from her halfway through the text, I figured it out that it was her. I mean, who else would be sending me a messing at midnight.

My reply was short and sweet. Just like Eddie.

Did I really just think that? What the fuck is wrong with me?

I place the phone back in its rightful place on the bedside table and roll back over.

9am Saturday.

In 120 hours, I am going to meet my daughter.

And I'm scared shitless.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! As always, my lovelies, brutal honestly.**


	5. It All Begins With Hello

**A/N: Here you guys go. Chapter 5. Sorry it took awhile but as I said, I am only two weeks out from exams and my focus has been on them. However, you guys deserved this, especially after all your kind words.**

 **I just wanted to clear something up though first. Because I am an Australia, the way some words are spelt are different to how they are spelt in other countries, especially America. However, I won't be changing them to suit it, only because it's easier if I write it my way. Hope this doesn't bother anyone.**

 **I realise there are going to be a few mistakes, probably a lot if I am being honest, but I just wanted it to give it to you guys before the weekend was up for me. Its currently 22:30 here.**

 **Finally, I don't own Blue Bloods, or anything related to it. I just play with two of my severely underappreciated characters.**

 _Chapter 5:_

After sending my reply to Eddie, I tossed and turned all night. All I could think about was meeting Malina and the onslaught of feelings I was to feel when we did meet. It wasn't the impending emotions I was bound to feel that kept me awake for a solid three hours though. No, you see, it was the series of unanswerable questions infiltrating my over-analysing brain.

 _How should I act around Malina? Will she recognise me from her picture? What if she didn't like me?_

And the most alarming; _What if I wasn't going to be a good father?_

I quickly realised at about 03:30am that I should probably get some shut-eye otherwise I would be no use to Eddie tomorrow. In fact, I would no use to any citizen of this great city. You know what they say; _A tired cop is dead cop._

 _3 hours later:_

My alarm went off far too quickly for my liking, and I was almost tempted to call in sick, but the prospect of seeing Eddie and getting answers to my problematic questions was enough to drag my exhausted body from my bed and straight into the shower.

Knowing that I always purposely set my alarm half-an-hour before I need to be awake (once a Boy Scout always a Boy Scout), I spent an extended amount of time under the shower head. The scathingly hot temperatures enabled my body to maintain a semi-conscious nature before I had access to a large infusion of caffeine.

I was finishing getting dressed in my street clothes, my phone chimed from its designated home on the bedside table. Secretly hoping that it was Eddie who had text me, I may have hurriedly walked to see the message.

My heart gave a little flutter at the notification informing me it was from Eddie. Unlocking it, I read that rather short message.

 _From Eddie Janko:_

 _B.S, meet at the café around the corner from the district. Figured I owed you a coffee for waking you up at midnight._

 _E._

If only she knew that I was still awake for three more hours thinking about everything that could possible go wrong on Saturday.

And what the hell is B.S?

 _20 minutes later:_

So, I may have arrived earlier than I knew Eddie was going to be there. What can I say; this girl makes me nervous.

With my eyes trained to the door, I let my thoughts ponder to this week's Sunday family dinner. Was I making the right decision in telling them, one day after meeting my daughter?

Wow that shit is scary to say.

Jesus Jamie, you can't say shit anymore!

I really need to stop these internal monologues.

The ringing of the door indicates that someone has entered, but it is the tingling sensation that travels its way down my spine that indicates that it's Eddie who has entered. I take a moment to stare at her beauty whilst she goes straight to the counter to order and I watch as her dazzling smile continues to be infectious to everyone around her. I can tell the moment she realises that I am already here because she suddenly stops mid-order, to turn and give me my very own smile.

I quickly look down with my lip between my teeth to hide the blush she instigated.

The clanking of her heels along the linoleum floors and the sudden shift in weight of the table indicates that she has come to join me.

"Nice blush B.S"

I provide a little chuckle before I lift my head to look at her. Our eyes are compelled to each other and a moment of beautiful silence engulfs us. It's the interruption of our delivered coffee that breaks our reverie.

Taking a sip of the slightly burnt coffee, I immediately begin with the onslaught of questions. The first potentially being the most important.

"What the hell is B.S? That's the second time you have called me that," I ask with a small smirk on my face.

"Oh um, it stands for Boy Scout," she replies with her own blush.

"Boy scout? I though by now that title would be meaningless."

"Just because you fathered a child from a one-night stand does not suddenly make you a bad boy," she states with a humorous scoff.

We both give a laugh at her statement. I'm glad that we are at the point of being able to joke about our creation of life, even though I only found out a week ago.

I watch as she takes a sip of her coffee and upon feeling her nervous state, I take a sip of mine, to put her at ease.

"I'm sorry I woke you last night, well this morning."

"It's okay. If I am being honest, I was wide awake and didn't actually go to sleep until about 3am."

"Damn. Something must have been on your mind," she enquired.

"Yeah you could say that," I reply ominously.

In a quiet whisper and soft features, Eddie places her hand gently on top of mine before speaking; "I dragged you into this situation, the least I could do is listen to your concerns. Trust me, I probably had them one point during my pregnancy."

I doubted that, but I appeased Eddie and gave her a soft smile in return; "I might take you up on that offer one day, but I am the type person that likes to work through things on their own before asking others for help."

Eddie gives me a cute little chuckle before leaning back into her chair.

"Like father like daughter."

"What do you mean?" I ask curiously

"Despite being only two, Malina tends to do things on her own. Won't ask for any help. Should have seen the meltdown this morning when I tried to help her build a tower with her foam blocks."

"Sorry about that. Hopefully she didn't get all of my bad traits."

"Trust me. She didn't," she replies bluntly.

We take a moment to simply stare at each other. It was getting to the point where I thought the few patrons in the diner would start to whisper and stare.

Eddie is the first to break to stare, with a soft clearing of her throat. Man, I've really got to stop the staring thing.

"So, Saturday…." She starts.

Oh right. The actual reason why Eddie wanted to meet. And the true reason behind my restless night.

"Yeah, Saturday…"

"I was thinking that we could go to a picnic. At Central Park. Malina loves it there. And I figured it still warm out, its neutral ground and it will give you a chance to interact with her."

"It sounds perfect. I wouldn't have cared where we went, as long as I got the opportunity to meet her."

Eddie smiles in reply.

"I appreciate you saying that. I am just finally glad that this day is happening."

I knew what she meant. Even though I had only known about my daughter for a week, it was still an exciting prospect; meeting her, getting to know her. Finally, being able to call myself a Dad, not just Uncle Jamie. Don't get me wrong, I love being an Uncle, but as I watch Erin and Danny interact with their kids, and the way mum and dad interacted with us, I always hoped I could have the opportunity to do that as well. And now I am finally getting that chance. Even if two years have already passed, I will take all that I can get.

"Me too."

We spend the next twenty minutes sharing small talk and when we finished the barley average tasting coffee, we decided it was best to part ways with the diner and head into the district to begin a gruelling day on shift.

It was as I was walking Eddie to her extremely gorgeous car, which I would quite happily blow my load over if I ever got the opportunity to drive it, when it occurred to me that I had no idea where Malina spends her day when Eddie works.

"Where is Malina? I mean, you being a rookie means we get stuck with most of the crappy, long ass shifts. I was just wondering what happens to Malina when you're at work."

"Do you remember the girl that I gave Malina to when you first met her? That's Betty. Her and I practically grew up together. We went through a lot of stuff when we were younger that kind of brought us even closer together. And when I got pregnant and decided to become a cop, I finally shut the door of my past firmly shut, which meant I had to say goodbye to a lot of people. But Betty wasn't one of them. She wanted to leave our old life with me. Anyway, she's a freelance journalist, so she works from home. Whenever I am working, Malina stays with her."

Old life? Just who was Eddie Janko before she became a mother and cop? And better yet, why was she running from her past?

"Is there something in your past that you're running from?"

I didn't mean to be blunt, or intrude into her life. Technically we still barely knew each-other. But I figured if we were going to raise our daughter together, I deserved to know whether something could come to hurt Malina in the future. It's not that I didn't trust Eddie to keep our daughter safe, its just that I didn't trust anybody else.

I haven't even met her yet, and I already becoming a protective father.

"No, I'm not running from a past. More like a lifestyle. Don't worry, nothing could come back to hurt me or Malina. It's nothing like that. Let's just say it's a story for another time."

I let Eddie leave it at that. If we are to build any sort of relationship, beside co-parenting, we have to learn to trust each other. And that begins with giving each other the space we need. And when we're ready, we will talk.

 _3 Days Later:_

Dad had just left the 12th Precinct and can visibly see the moment the tension inside Eddie is finally relieved. She bends down to put her hands on her knees and takes at deep breath in.

Unable to hold the laughter in, I release a little chuckle and slap my hand on her shoulder.

"You okay their partner?"

"Its not funny Jamie. I basically just got reprimanded by the Commissioner because I accidently forgot to attach my flashlight to my utility belt."

Watching her panic was extremely entertaining and I couldn't help but continue to prolong this situation.

"The man is practically a big softie. You should see what happens when Titanic comes one. The man will deny it all he wants, but when Jack and Rose are reunited, cries every time."

She smacks my chest in a playful manner, and before she makes her next statement she looks around the squad room to ensure we are alone.

"Yeah, but you aren't about to tell him that you had your youngest son's baby and kept her from him for two years."

"You are seriously over-reacting. I think out of all my family, he will take it the best."

"Right. And I've been to the moon," she fires back with a pointed look.

With a roll of my eyes, I give her a playful shove outside the door and with my hands on her shoulder, I guide her to the squad car.

"Lets just start this shift shall we."

 _Saturday Morning:_

Well, today is the day.

Today I am going to be meeting my daughter for the very first time.

And I am scared shitless.

Eddie said we should meet at around 10:00am, believing the park wouldn't be completely packed but as I look around the forever busy Central Park, I seriously began to doubt Eddie's ability is location picking.

But then again, I am here thirty minutes before I am required to be. This had nothing to do with my retentive nature to always be there early. Instead, it had everything to do with the nerves. I contemplated getting out of the car and meeting Eddie by _Bethesda Fountain_ like we had arranged, but I knew I couldn't be nervous when Malina and I first met. I read somewhere that children can be really attuned to human emotion. I definitely did not want to make Malina nervous.

So, I rang the only person I could. Danny.

With gruff voice, he answered on the second ring.

 _"What's up kid?"_

"It's Saturday Danny."

 _"I am aware of this Jamie. I have to work it."_

"No, it's THE Saturday."

 _"Oh shit! As in the day your meeting Malina,"_ he says in a whispered tone through the receiver.

"Yeah and I scared shitless! What if she doesn't like me? What if Eddie regrets her decision ever telling me? What if today goes horrible and Eddie decided that she doesn't me in Malina's life?"

 _"Woah slow down kid. Your going to give yourself a heart-attack."_

I take a few deep breaths and when Danny had sensed that I had calmed down, he continued.

 _"Do you remember when you were about five and mum took all of us to the park? And you were playing the park this other boy, who would have been about your age?"_

"Not really. I was only five at the time?"

 _"Stop being a smartass. Anyway, you were helping him finish of this sandcastle when this bigger kid, who couldn't have been any older than Joe came over and smashed this little boy castle. This kid bawled his eyes, it was like his entire world shattered. But, you, my dear brother, got up and stared up at this kid, who almost head taller, and told him to back off and stop being a bully. Because bully's have a special place in my Daddy's jail."_

Even though I couldn't recall this memory at all, I still gave a little chuckle. It certainly sounded like something I would do.

 _"You were just five years old and you defended someone who you didn't even know. That's when I knew that you would make a damn man one day. And I was just 10 years old. But I wasn't wrong Jamie. You have grown up to be someone that I am incredibly proud to call my brother. Even though I don't show it, I am proud."_

"Thanks Danny," I say softly as a wipe a stray tear away.

I may be a grown ass man, but hearing my big brother say that he was proud of me, was enough to bring me to tears.

 _"Fatherhood isn't easy Jamie. It's about screwing up and learning how to be better. Yeah, there will point where your kid will scream and yell that they hate you, but you must stick by them, because you love them. Your Jamie Reagan. There is nothing you do half-assed. You're going to be fine."_

"Thanks for the pep talk big bro," I reply with sincerity.

 _"Any time."_

Before he has the chance to hang up, I provide Danny with some parting words.

"Hey Danny?"

 _"Yeah?"_

"You're a pretty great father. And even better Man."

 _"Thanks Kid,"_ he replies in the soft tone he generally only reserves for Linda.

With that, I exit the car, slide my phone into my back pocket and I make my way to _Bethesda Fountain._

I was only left standing alone like an idiot before I heard to unmistakable laugh of Eddie Janko. I turned around her to see and whilst my eyes normally attract straight to her, they instead strayed to the small individual attached to her hip. She was gorgeous. Even more so than the brief sight that I saw a week ago. Her light blond hair was fluttering in the small breeze, but her eyes were the spitting image of mine. There was no denying this kid was mine.

Eddie walked the remaining twenty metres to reach me and stopped.

"Hi," she stated softly.

I took a final deep breath before reply: "Hi."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! As always, my lovelies, brutal honestly.**


	6. We Meet at Last

**A/N: Chapter 6! And look, two weeks after my last update. Well, I am one exam done and my final happening on Wednesday, which means that there could be a more regular update pattern occurring. Thank-you to everyone who left kind words on the last chapter; I really do appreciate them.**

 **Did anyone else watch the latest episode of Blue Bloods? I think we can all agree that the look Jamie and Eddie shared was their way of silently saying** ** _"I want your babies."_**

 **Anyhoozle, I have done a proofread, but alas, there are things that I could have missed. Apologies for them.**

 **I don't own Blue Bloods, or anything related to it. I just like to play with two characters who seriously need to get the shit together.**

 _Chapter 6:_

We are stopped and stared in complete silence. Eddie's eyes were trained to my face, but mine were solely looking at Malina. And she was looking directly at me with the most perplexed look on her face. And let me tell you, this look on a two-year-old was adorable.

Even though I had only known about her existence for just over a week, I felt an immense pull towards to her. Like the way I am drawn to Eddie, except stronger. It was the bond that can only be shared between parent and child.

In that moment, my body allowed a sudden wave of emotion to overcome me. Every emotion that has ever known to be felt was coursing through my body, though the only one I cared about currently was complete joy.

I guess Malina had enough of the silence and staring, so to ease the recognisable tension forming between the three of us, she reached and pointed towards my eyes.

"Mine?" she said curiously.

Her voice was softly sweet and as soothing as a sunset. If I could live the rest of my life with that voice around me, I will die a happy man. I think it may have something to with the fact that this sweet, innocent voice reminded me so much of how Eddie sounds when she is vulnerable.

I release a little chuckle and return the gesture to Malina's eyes; "Yeah sweetie, mine."

Eddie decides that we had shared enough to break the ice and placed Malina on the ground, but still maintained contact by holding her hand.

"Sorry we're late. I didn't exactly want to drive because parking would be nightmare, but the subway was just as bad. It was running late and then there was a large shuffle in the crowd that we missed the train, so we had to get on the ne-," she rambled hurriedly.

I interrupted her, knowing that it wasn't intentionally her fault at all. Besides, I didn't want a silly thing to make Eddie or myself even more nervous for this day than we both already were.

"Eddie, it's okay. Take a deep breath. I'm the one that supposed to be nervous remember?"

She lets out a small chuckle and follows my instructions by inhaling deeply.

"Okay," she states as she exhales softly.

"Okay."

"Mumma pic!"

I cast my eyes downwards to the little girl who is staring impatiently at her mother and that's when I notice that there is a picnic basket in Eddie's free hand.

"I take it she means picnic?" I ask with a bemused smirk.

"Demandingly so. Have no idea where she gets that from,"

I let a scoff escape, to which I receive a pointed look from Eddie.

"Trust me Ed, I know exactly where she gets it from."

She rolls her eyes at me and goes to instigate a sarcastic reply when she remembers the impatient child next her and thinks better of it.

"Shall we go find a spot Mal?"

Her little head nods with so much excitement but as she goes to take off, pulling Eddie in tow, she suddenly stops.

Eddie, sensing what appears to be unnatural behaviour from Malina in her eyes, bends down to be eye-level with her.

"What's wrong baby?"

Instead of giving a reply, she holds her hand out.

It reaches a stop straight in front of me.

Eddie, with a small smile, follows the direction of Malina's arm and stares at me softly. There was no mistaking the adoration, love and acceptance on her face.

With trepidation, so to not frighten Malina, I place my hand in her rather small one. If I thought the moment I laid eyes on her would allow me to find my moment of completion, nothing could compare to this moment.

To feel my daughter's small smooth hand, fit perfectly into mine was incomparable to any earth-shattering experience and it caused a tear to escape my eye. She looked up at me with her carbon-copy of my eyes, before she returned to her former mission and began dragging both Eddie and me.

Looking over at Eddie I could see the matching tears and I gave her an appreciative smile.

Despite only being partners for a week, I have already learnt to read Eddie like a book. I saw her face that moment Malina placed her hand in mine. I watched the regret and sadness sketch itself across her face. I tried to let her know with the smile that I am not angry with her. That even if I don't know what my entire feelings are about the situation, I am still glad that I am experiencing this moment.

After finding a rather quite spot, well as quite as Central Park can be for a Saturday morning during Summer, we settled on the large picnic blanket that Eddie had magically stuffed into the basket. I wasn't left surprise there, because she also pulled out an unimaginable number of toys to keep Malina occupied from her handbag.

Now I finally understood the need for a woman to have a large handbag. So everything but the kitchen sink can fit in there.

Eddie was lying on her back, her arms bent at a ninety-degree angle to support her weight. I, still be a nervous as hell, had no idea what do, so I just mimicked her position. Malina was at our feet, completely consumed by the bubble bee and ladybug stuffed toys.

Under the impression that Malina couldn't hear us, or didn't care if she did, Eddie initiated conversation with me.

"She knows who you are."

"What?"

"Malina. She knows that you are her father. I just don't think she has made the connection between the photo beside her bed and you."

"Eddie, I don't really mind if she doesn't know who I am. I would like if we could tell her in the very near future if she still hasn't figured it out, but for now, I'm okay," I reply honestly.

I am being honest with that statement. I just found out I am a father a week ago and whilst I am welcoming the change, it doesn't mean that my entire world has changed and will continue to change, but I am lucky that I am at the age where I can deal and adapt the change. Malina can't.

Almost knowing what I was thinking, Eddie provides a reply; "She's a resilient kid. That's a trait that I have a firm belief on where she gets in from."

That last sentence was delivered with a pointed look at me. I give her a soft smile before I turn my head to look at our daughter.

Our daughter. Despite remaining unknowing to the changing circumstances surrounding her, she still maintains a blazing smile and kind eyes. How I ever lived a life without her in it, is beyond me, but now that I know of her existence, she is to become a permanent fixture in my life.

"She likes the ducks."

I turn my head back to Eddie and stare at her in confusion.

"You should take Mal to see the ducks. Kid is obsessed with them."

Oh right.

With that information, I shuffle towards the end of the blanket and sit quietly by Malina, who was still engrossed by the stuffed toys.

"So a little birdy told me you like ducks,"

I go to continue my question where she innocently interrupts me; "Wike Big Bird? The lellow one?"

The smile that graces my face could even make saddest person in the world reciprocate my sentiment. God, this little girl was amazing.

"Yeah, but you got to keep it a secret from Mummy. Otherwise Big Bird won't tell me anything."

She puts her finger on her mouth, mimicking the shhhh motion and I do the same, only with a wink directed at her.

She giggles, and I join in on the laughter. In the corner of my eye, I see Eddie wipe away what I could only assume was a tear.

"Would you like to see the ducks with me?"

She nods excitedly and begins to stand. I stand and move to take her hand, but I stare back at Eddie and asks if she would like to join us.

"I'll be fine here. You guys go do it together."

I looked at her with trepidation, and she got up off the blanket and walked towards me.

She softly places her hand across my cheek and holds it so tenderly there.

"I trust you."

And that was that was needed to be said.

Malina pulls my hand into hers and begins dragging me to where she apparently thinks the ducks are. I didn't have to the heart to tell her we were going the wrong way.

Ah, who cares! We can just go the long way around.

So, it turns out that once Malina has walked a certain distance, she determines she has done enough and asks politely for a piggy back ride.

I couldn't say no that adorable face, so I ended up walking the rest of the way with her on my back. It didn't even matter that her hands were slightly choking me.

When we arrived at the bridge, Malina only moved from my back to my hip. She, like me, was having trouble letting go.

She, however, was still contently amused with the ducks as they waded underneath us.

Neither of us spoke for a solid 10 minutes. But it was okay, because I got to watch the joy that Malina was experiencing.

Every shitty thing that happened in my life, losing Grandma Betty, mum and then Joe, I didn't think that the universe had anything good left to give.

And then I met Eddie. And she has given me this beautiful human being, who is enough to remind me that there are good things that happen in the world. And even when you are at your lowest, a simple smile from the innocent individuals in the world, is just enough to remind you why you keep putting one foot forward.

I wanted to capture this moment, so I pulled out my phone and opened the camera, switching to selfie mode.

I am silently thanking Nicky in this moment for teaching me how to do this.

With Malina still on my hip, I stretch my phone in front of us, and ensuring that we are both in the picture, I snap a few photos. The sound of the camera catches Malina's attention and she pays attention to the camera this time, putting on the cheesiest of grins. That photo was being made my home screen.

Deciding that Malina was comfortable enough with me, I placed a small kiss on her forehead and continued to watch her and the ducks.

And when I didn't think that this day could get anybody, Malina goes and changes my entire world.

"Look Daddy! It baby ducky!

This is the moment that parents always talk about. When they hear their child speak for the very first time, whatever word it may be. It brings complete and utter bliss. That's exactly how I feel in this moment and I am not ashamed to let those tears fall.

This little girl is everything I never knew I needed.

With a teary laugh, I reply; "Yeah baby, Daddy sees the little duck."

We stayed with the ducks for another 10 minutes before I decided that we should head back in case Eddie was getting worried.

I was still riding on cloud nine and when Eddie came into sight, I placed Malina on the ground, but stopped.

"Let's race back to Mummy. Ready, set g—"

Before I even had a chance to finish the word _go,_ Malina was off. She was so Eddie's daughter. Ensuring that she was never out of my sight, I dashed to catch up with her little legs.

Her little giggles alerted Eddie to our oncoming presence and she smiled brightly. She stood up and prepared to catch Malina when she would undoubtedly run into her mother's arms.

Cradling her in a bear hug, Eddie shakes her from side to side; "Grrrr, got you monkey!"

Her giggles are infectious and soon, both Eddie and I are joining her. It wasn't until Malina spoke that Eddie was rendered still.

"Daddy help!" she says, whilst still laughing.

Eddie immediately ceases her laughter and casts her eyes straight upon mine.

With no words being enough to make meaning of Malina's own words, I just nodded to Eddie and unashamedly release the tears once more.

Instead of finding a meaningful reply, Eddie just pulls me into a bone-crushing hug, with Malina squished in the middle. Eventually, her tears find away to the surface and mix with mine as they fall. I liked to think that this was a moment of joy, apologies and acceptance. Joy that the three of us are finally a family. Apologies that I was robbed of this moment for two years. And finally, acceptance. Acceptance that Eddie never meant to hurt anyone. If it weren't for the blazing smiles on all three of our faces, one would think this was a scene of tragedy.

I guess there was an onlooker who saw that this was a moment of pure joy and asked if we would like a photo. Eddie passed the stranger her phone and returned to her position on my right. Wrapping my arm around her lower waist and pulling her even closer, we both lent our foreheads on Malina's.

I never heard the clicking of the camera.

But the photo.

The photo was the image of an imperfectly perfect family.

And it was getting framed and placed proudly on my mantle.

After spending another few hours at the park which consisted of eating the wonderous snacks Eddie provided and playing as a family, Eddie said that she needed to get home, so Malina could have her afternoon nap.

Giving Mal, who stated adorably firm that she preferred the nickname, a final hug, I handed her back to Eddie.

"So…" I started awkwardly.

With an eye roll and a smirk Eddie bluntly states; "You can tell your family. You've met her. She likes you. She called you _daddy._ I think that's all the reason you need."

"Are you sure? Everything will change once they know."

"Jamie, everything already has changed. I think its about time she learnt of the family she belongs to."

"Okay," I reply softly.

"Okay."

Eddie turns to walk away, before turning back to me and planting a soft, barely there, kiss on my cheek.

"I'll see you Monday partner. Call me if you need anything."

And with that Eddie was gone.

Still standing like an idiot on the side-street, I touched a hand to the area on my cheek that she kissed. Closing my eyes softly, I try to remember every soft detail about her lips, but then I remember that I am still in public.

I hurry back to my car and take a moment to finally breath.

This day was real. These moments were real.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I see that Eddie had already texted me the photo of the three of us. After staring at it for a moment, I decided to share it with the only person that I knew I could. But not before making it my lock-screen though.

 _54_ _th_ _Precinct:_

Danny, the image of pure boredom, continues the completion of his delayed paperwork, and silently begging for any form of distraction. Ironically enough, someone must have heard his prayers because his phone dinged, indicating a text.

Secretly hoping it was Jamie with an update, he let a rare, genuine smile grace his face when he saw that it was indeed, from his kid brother. It was a simple message with an attachment.

 _From Jamie Reagan:_

 _Meet your niece._

Opening the attachment, Danny immediately caught his breath at the striking resemblance of his niece to Jamie. And whilst Malina was the immediate focus of his attention, it was the overall photo and the aura it gave off that had Danny Reagan smiling for the rest of the day.

Mumbling under his breath, Danny continued back to his paperwork, but this time, with a brightened sense of the day and a better attitude.

"You did good baby bro."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! As always, my lovelies, brutal honestly.**


	7. Telling Frank Reagan

**A/N: I don't think I could apologise enough! I have been so busy in the last few months, that I just haven't had the time to write. I'm also noticing a drop in the number of reviews, which I can't blame you for, because I haven't been updating frequently, but that kind of ruined my motivation to write more chapters.**

 **Please do leave reviews, good or bad, because it means that you guys have as much of an investment into this story that I do. If you have an idea that you would like to see in this story, please tell me. If you didn't like something, please still tell me.**

 **I don't own Blue Bloods or anything related to it. But I'm super glad CBS renewed it for a ninth season.**

 **Please enjoy.**

 _Chapter 7:_

"Absolutely not!"

"Oh, come on Jamie! It's just the one thing."

"Eddie, it's a New York disgrace."

"Oh, for god's sake, it is just an ice hockey team."

"It's not the right team. Not for our daughter. She has half of my genes, which means she goes for the Rangers."

"In my defence, my grandparents lived in Philly. I was bound out of grandparent obligation. If I had known you were going to react this way, I wouldn't have told you."

I give a playful scoff; I knew that both Eddie and I were enjoying the playful banter between us.

"Just so you know, don't mention the flyer's anywhere near a 5-mile radius around my father's house."

"So, you've actually gotten around to telling your family about Malina then?"

Suddenly, the need for playful banter and cheerful car-rides vanished. All that remained was uncomfortable silence.

I watch as Eddie gives me a pointed look.

"Jamie," she begins condescendingly

"I know, I know," I reply, emphasising with the corresponding hand-gestures.

"It's been a week since you met her Jamie. I gave the go-ahead to tell that same afternoon to tell your family."

"I know. There have been multiple occasions where I wanted to tell my family. I've gone back and forth on whether to tell them individually or at a family dinner."

What Eddie says next, I barely catch it, because of the hushed tone in which she used; "You're not ashamed of us are you?"

My reply was almost instant.

"Oh god! No Eddie! I'm not ashamed of you or Malina. I've only known about Mal for a few weeks, yet she is my entire world. I do not want you to ever think that I don't want you in my family's life."

There is silence for a few moments before I hear Eddie speak again.

"I'm sorry I implied that you were ashamed of us."

I give her my classic Jamie Reagan smile, which translates to her that there was no harm done.

Honestly, I don't blame Eddie for feeling like I was ashamed of her and Malina. It had been 7 days since my initial meeting with Malina, yet only Danny Reagan, a man notoriously known for spoiling every secret of mine at Family Dinner, knows of my child's existence.

That's it. I'm spilling the beans tonight. No. Lunch.

"Do you mind if I take lunch alone today? There is something that I have to do"

"Sure," she replies.

A call then came over the radio, which would ensure that we would busy until lunch, and allow for my mind to be kept off the inevitable conversation that I am forcing myself to initiate with my father at lunch.

I don't know I long I have been standing in front of 1PP, but I know that I only have twenty minutes before I have to be back at the precinct. I take a deep breath and force myself to put one foot in front of another, until I find myself in front of Baker's desk.

Baker pulls her head up from her paperwork when she senses a visitor.

"Oh, hi Jamie. I didn't know you were coming today?"

"He's not expecting me. It was kind of a spur of the moment decision. But it is a bit of an urgent matter. I hope I am not interrupting anything."

"Its nice to get a Reagan up here who doesn't burst through the door or request a meeting for a professional reason. I'll tell you what, I'll push back a meeting he has. I'm afraid I can only give you 10 minutes though. I hope that's okay?"

"Yeah, not all Reagan's were gifted with appropriate patience levels. 10 minutes is more than enough Baker. Thank-you. I hope I won't get you in trouble."

"It's no trouble at all Jamie. Seeing you might actually make him more tolerable for his meeting."

"I can't promise anything, but I'll try," I say with a shaky chuckle.

Baker stands from her desk and moves towards the Commissioner's door. Each step she takes, I feel my heartbeat increase. Time for the moment of truth.

With a precise knock, that has been perfected over the many years that Baker has worked with my father, I hear the gruff voice of my old man and I know that its too late to back out now. I take a final deep breath and I walk into the room.

"Son, I wasn't expecting to see you. Is there something wrong?" He asks as he stands from his desk and walks towards me.

"There's nothing wrong Dad."

"Something's on your mind Son. I could sense it at Family Dinner. I was wondering how long it would take you to confide in me," he says.

I gesture towards the old, yet firm, leather couch, and we both sit. Dad's 6 ft 6 frame still towering over mine.

"Call it cop's intuition, but yes, you are correct. There has been something on my mind. More specifically, someone has been on my mind," I start vaguely, yet bluntly.

"Ah. Is there a girl that is troubling my young son's mind?"

"I guess you could say that, yes, there is a girl on my mind. But it's not what you think."

"I'm not going to judge you son," he says, softly placing his hand on my shoulder.

I take a deep breath before beginning at where it all began. Well, condensing the past three years into ten minutes.

"Do you remember the day, well night I suppose, that Sydney and I ended things?"

Dad let out a sigh and gave his shoulders a shuffle. I could see that he still has issues with the whole incident. He has never resented Sydney for leaving, rather appreciating the fact that she spoke up before it became a life commitment. He just doesn't like the pain that I suffered through.

"Yes, I do. Have you been seeing her again?"

"God no! It's got nothing to do with Sydney at all. What I was alluding to is that after Sydney left, I knew I couldn't stay in the apartment any longer, so I went out to a bar just around the corner. I was drowning my sorrows in whiskey, when I met just about the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

"Ah, I see where this is going," he replies, with a smirk.

I reciprocated the smirk, only adding embarrassment to accompany it.

"It wasn't something that happened straight away. We played a few games of darts, probably ate our body weight in wings and then we left the bar. We went back to her place, and I guess you can figure out what happened next."

There are few scenarios in which I have lied to Frank Reagan, one being right in this moment. I don't think he needs to know that his son engaged in public sex with a practical stranger that ultimately resulted in the conception of his granddaughter.

"Son, I appreciate your honesty, but this happened almost three years ago, why are you telling me this now?"

I go to continue, but then I watch as the dawn of realisation breaks. He knows. It's hard not to put the pieces together when you've had more than forty years of experience on the job.

"Jamie…"

I've lost what little confidence I had walking into this office. I can't say the words out loud.

"Jamie, do you mean to tell me that you have a child?"

I take a big gulp before nodding; "A daughter to be more specific."

I watch as Dad's entire body stiffens with shock. Frank Reagan is known for always having the right words to say, for being a pillar of strength when times are down, yet in this very moment, he has nothing to say.

There is an uncomfortable silence that falls between us. I can see him processing all the information that I have provided him with. I know the exact moment that he realises that I've only know about Malina's existence for three weeks, because I see the anguish and anger spread across his face.

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you sure she's yours?"

I was expecting this question and I'll know I will never escape it when I go to introduce Malina to the rest of my world, but it doesn't mean it will hurt any less whenever someone asks it or will ask it.

"Yes. She's mine. Mal's the spitting image of me. And Eddie said she's more than happy to give a DNA test for anyone that still has doubts. I trust her Dad. This isn't something you lie about."

"You'd be surprised about how many do lie about the paternity Jamie," he retorts, before he catches what else I revealed.

"Hang on, did you just say Eddie? As in Eddie Janko, your new partner?"

"Yes"

"Jamie…."

"Look Dad, I know I just dropped the world's biggest bomb on you. I don't expect you to understand it, or be okay with it. But it's a reality now. My reality. You don't have to accept the situation, but I need you to accept her, okay?"

"I don't know want to say Jamie,"

Looking at my watch I know that I physically can't stay any longer, so I stand, making my intention of leaving clear.

"Dad, I really have to get back to shift, but I know we need to continue this conversation. Shift finishes at nineteen hundred; if you could meet me at the Diner around the corner from the 12th, I would really appreciate it."

He takes a moment to think about it, but ultimately replies with the response I was wanting; "Okay."

"Okay."

The moment I exit the front doors, I expel the air that I was withholding for the majority of the interaction with my father. Raking my hands through my hair, I notice the patrol car parked next to the curb, with Eddie leaning on the driver's side door. I make my way over to her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I had an inkling that this is where you would be. After our conversation this morning and your sudden urge to bail on our lunch plans, I knew that this is the place you would be. Figured you would want some support," she states, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Thanks Ed."

"Do I want to ask how it went?"

The vulnerability and uncertainness was obvious in her voice.

"Everything will be okay," I say, with a nervous smile to accompany my statement.

At least, I hope it will.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! As always, my lovelies, brutal honestly.**


	8. Awkward Diner Carpark Conversations

**A/N: There are no words that I could use that would make up for my lack of updates! I'm so sorry. I have had every intention to write to you, but every-time I tried, nothing came out. But, I discovered some new motivation (coincidently, resulted from an injury) and decided that I owed my loyal readers the next chapter.**

 **Please do leave reviews, good or bad, because it means that you guys have as much of an investment into this story that I do. If you have an idea that you would like to see in this story, please tell me. If you didn't like something, please still tell me.**

 **This hasn't been properly proof-read or edited either. I needed to get it out to you all, so I apologise for all the mistakes.**

 **Also can we talk about the fact that JAMKO IS REAL! Only took them 6 years.**

 **I don't own Blue Bloods or anything related to it. But I'm super glad season 9 starts in the next few weeks.**

 **Please enjoy.**

I once again find myself sitting outside the diner, awaiting another person. The same diner where Eddie revealed the news to me, except now, I am the one doing the revealing. Whilst Eddie, in her 5'3ft self, can be frightening if caught on her bad side, doesn't compare to the staggeringly powerful look of Frank Reagan's disappointment that I am bound to receive

And if the ground could swallow me whole, it would be greatly appreciated.

Jamie Reagan; death by cowardliness due to his inability to confront his father about the daughter he has only known about for a few weeks.

Yeah, I reckon that is eloquent headstone material. Although coward is rarely associated with the Reagan family, I believe it is a fitting adjective to this scenario.

I thought the first time I was at the diner was nerve-wracking, but this, this I think will actually kill me.

I have been sitting in my car for over an hour. I guess I thought getting here early would allow me to settle my nerves, but all its done is increase them in 10-fold. I know the longer that I prolong this moment, the more awkward it will become. But I'm afraid. Of what, I am unsure.

Failure maybe? Perhaps disappointment.

From the corner of my eye, I give the diner a quick glance. I note that there are limited patrons (no looming figure of my father) and two viable exists. You never stop being a cop; no matter where you are. Although I am still unsure whether I am viewing those exists as an escape route in case of danger, or a way for me to flee this inevitable meeting.

Releasing that I have reached the acceptable amount of time that I can prolong this meeting, I take a deep breath and exit my car. I shut the car door with an unnecessary amount of force, I continue towards the diner. I only make it halfway before I come to a stand-still.

I shove my hands in my pockets and rock on my feet. Why can't I do this?

Minutes of New York's silence continues to slip by and I remain firmly where I am. In the back of my mind I am concerned that my father hasn't shown up yet, but I know that my first priority is figuring out how I am going to make my body move towards the diner.

"You know, for an individual who is trained to recognise what civilians can't, you have done a poor job of realising that I have been standing here for five minutes."

Startled with fright, I clutch the place where my sidearm is usually positioned. The familiarity of the voice providing only the smallest calmness.

"Dammit Dad, don't do that! What if I had actually been carrying my weapon?"

Dad gives me his standard look; a raised eyebrow with a facial expression conveying disappointment. Yeah, I understand the stupidity of my statement.

"Seeing as we are on the topic, where is your off-duty weapon?"

I give a glance to my surroundings before pulling up the jeans of my right leg to reveal the ankle holstered weapon.

He gives me a small smirk before turning and continuing to walk towards the diner's entrance.

He comes to stop shortly after realising that I am still rooted in the same position. He doubles back and returns to stand next to me.

"Is the diner not an appropriate setting to have this conversation?"

I give a huff in exasperation before replying; "Is there ever really an appropriate place to have this conversation?"

"Well I suppose not, but if that's your only reason for why you still rooted to the spot, can I ask why we aren't in there?"

I ponder how to phrase my response, before deciding to give an honest response.

"Honestly? I don't think I can."

Dad lets a moment of silence to pass before he responds to my statement accordingly.

"Can't? Or won't?"

The need to give him a pointed look is burning with heavy desire, but I know that he is right. It's why he makes a good Commissioner. Forever perceptive.

I concede and reply; "Ok, so maybe you have a point."

Dad gives a quick 180 look of the surroundings before turning back to me. "There is nothing wrong with having this conversation here. The conversation was never about the where," he states.

I nod and take a deep breath.

"I suppose you would like to start from the beginning?" I ask.

"I find that the beginning is always best," replies Dad.

Noticing that his SUV was only 20ft away, I gesture with my arms towards it, with the intention of leaning against the door.

I allow us both to get comfortable, well as comfortable as you can be leaning on a car, before beginning. Taking up his usual stance, Dad crosses his arms over the front of his. One would think of this as uncomfortable, but anyone who knows Frank Reagan would know that this is when he does his best work.

Taking one final deep breath in, I begin.

"Her name is Malina. Just turned two, on July 30th."

"How long have you known about her?"

"Just a few weeks."

"Have you met her?" Dad asks, with a quirked eyebrow.

My face forms a blazing smile. I pull out my phone and click the home button. There, displayed for the world to see, is the photo taken on the day that I met Malina. Whilst the original photo remains in my gallery, I cropped the photo to only show Malina and I. I didn't think Eddie would exactly appreciated the fact that her face is one of the first few things that I see in the morning.

Handing the phone over to Dad, I allow myself to view his reaction. His mouth parts slightly in awe and I see his eyes twinkle from complete joy.

"She's beautiful," he states

"Yeah, she is," I whisper lovingly.

I almost didn't hear it, but my father cleared his throat, as if he was chocking up. I didn't think he would be upset by seeing a photo of his grandchild.

"Dad are you okay?"

He looks up at me, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Although he wasn't crying, I could see the sadness in his eyes. There was however, a hint of happiness mixed with the pain.

"Are you upset about Malina?"

"No son. I could never be upset. This my granddaughter. Nothing in the world makes me happier than my family," he states adamantly.

"Then why are you crying?" I chuckle nervously.

"There is an old photo of your mother. She was about Malina's age. She's the spitting image of you mother. Minus the hair colour of course. That I am assuming she has gotten from Officer Janko."

"Eddie," I state, confused at why he is using her official title, "And yes, Malina has Eddie's colouring, but the rest, that's all me."

I allow time for dad to process the information that I just gave him, whilst I also take a moment to appreciate the fact that Malina looks just like my Mother when she was younger.

My mother has been gone for seven years, eight in September, and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't miss her. The ideas that my daughter looks like her, bring me a small amount of peace. It was hard coming to the realisation that Mum would never see Malina grow up, witness her become the person she will be and the greatness she could achieve, brings me great sadness. But if Malina could be half the person Mary Margaret Reagan was, well then, my daughter will become a remarkable woman one day.

My father's question drags me out of thoughts; "What's she like? Malina's personality I mean?"

"Malina is 95% her mother. She's a spitfire, fiercely brave and independent. Well as much as you can be as a two-year-old," I state with a chuckle. Its funny how, in only three weeks I've not only learnt so much about Malina, but how Eddie operates. I can say without a doubt, that Malina is 95% her mother.

"And the other 5%?"

"She's uhh, quiet when she chooses. And she gets this face when concentrates on something. Its adorable actually. Oh and, she loves ducks. Especially the ones in Central Park."

"You used to love those ducks as a kid."

"Maybe she is more like me than I thought," I state before adding, "Poor kid."

Dad and I share a smirk before we settle back into a silence. I allow time for the information to settle in. For both Dad and me. It's nice to have the opportunity to reflect on the last few weeks. Although Danny knows about Malina and has been a voice of reason when I need it, it still has been nice to finally tell my father and remind myself of all that has been revealed to me in the past few weeks.

"Who else knows about Malina?"

"As in, who else have I told about her existence?" I watch as he nods before continuing, "Just Danny. I desperately needed to tell someone, and Danny just happened to be the right person. Its actually managed to bring us closer together."

"I don't want you to think that I couldn't talk you. Da—"

He raises a hand, a gesture to stop talking.

"Son, it's okay. At the time, you felt Danny was the best person to talk to. I'm just glad you told me now. When you were ready to."

I nod with acceptance and we settle into a comfortable silence.

"I would like to meet her. Malina, that is. I'm sure all of us would like to meet her of course."

"Oh, that completely understandable. Of course, you can meet her. Well, I would have to talk to Eddie first, see when it would best suit her and if its okay. Though, I don't see why it wouldn't be."

I notice out of the corner of my eye a glimmer of frustration pass across my father's face. It's the second time that I have noticed that type of expression on him, but I choose not to bring it up. We've made such good progress today that I don't want to say anything that could interrupt that progress.

"That's understandable. Hopefully Eddie agrees. Maybe she could come after Sunday dinner. That way its not to formal or intimidating, but all the family will be there. And we will be sure to make it a welcoming environment where she will feel comfortable," Dad states.

"I don't see a problem with Eddie agreeing to that. And I think meeting you all at once will be fine. As long as we don't make it awkward. At least everyone can have some time to digest the news."

"Ok."

I nod my head along with Dad and watch as one of his men mentions something softly to him.

"I'm sorry Son, but they need me back at the office."

"It's alright Dad. I get it; it's part of the job"

Dad pulls me into a quick hug before pulling away and returning back to his SUV.

Before he steps into the car, he turns back to me.

"Jamie…."

"Yeah Dad?"

"Earlier, when I asked whether you couldn't or wouldn't go into the diner, you didn't exactly give me a straightforward answer."

I take a moment to formulate an answer; "The minute that I walked into that diner, everything would change. And I haven't quite come to terms with that. I was afraid that this would the be turning-point. And it is, in its own way it is. I guess I am afraid of what follows."

"Have you ever heard the expression _Tomorrow Never Comes?"_ he asks.

"Isn't that a Ronan Keating song?"

"A what?" he confusedly replies.

"Never mind. What were you trying to say?"

"There is no use worrying about tomorrow, because tomorrow will be today. If you keep being afraid of tomorrow, or the rest of your life will bring, its no life worth living. Fear makes do remarkable things; good and bad, but whatever you do, don't be afraid of the unknown because sometimes, the unknown, is life's greatest adventure.

I let his words settle, allowing them to sink in. I give a soft smile.

"You know, if I didn't already know it, I would now. You're a great Dad. Don't think I tell you that enough.

I watch the SUV drives away and give my father a fleeting wave, before I return to my car and practically collapse in my seat. Pulling my phone out of my back pocket, I dial the number of the one person I know I could count to listen to my ramblings.

 _"Hello?"_

 _"I need a drink"_

 _"Well hello to you to Boy Scout. Is that any way to talk to your Baby Mama?"_

 _"Don't ever refer to yourself as that whenever I am around."_

 _"Sorry,"_ she says with a giggle.

 _"Can you meet me for a drink? If you can't, that's fine."_

 _"Its all good. Betty can watch Malina for an hour. I mean, I would bring her to see you, but I don't think a bar is a good place for a two-year-old to be seen in. Don't want to start introducing her to bad habits early."_

 _"I understand. Usual place okay?"_

 _"See you in 20."_

I disconnect the call and start the car, driving towards my desired destination.

 _20 Minutes Later:_

Having parked a million miles away, I finally enter the bar, only to find Eddie already seated, her handbag resting on the seat next her, presumably saving it for me.

Making my over to her, I gesture to the barman for a soda and take the seat next her.

"Its nice to see you early for something Partner."

She gives a light punch before reaching for her glass; "So, how was your Dad's reaction?"

"Damn, you cut straight to the point."

"Its part of my charm," she states, with a flutter of her eyelashes.

I shake my head in amusement, before continuing.

"It went really well actually. He was surprisingly calm throughout the whole conversation."

"Told ya!"

"There was one thing he asked though."

"Yeah, what is it?"

"He wants to meet her. Malina that is. This Sunday."

I watch as my question settles upon her. She takes another sip of her drink, before delivering me a response that I certainly did not expect.

"No"

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! As always, my lovelies, brutal honestly.**


	9. Secret's Out

**A/N: Here it is! The next chapter. Perhaps even in record time for me.**

 **I loved hearing everyone's thoughts about the last chapter. I hope I did everyone's opinions justice this chapter, but I know I can't please everybody.**

 **Once again, please keep reviewing. I love your opinions and what you do or don't like. I take them very seriously when developing a chapter.**

 **I have read through it and tried to find any errors, but I am only human and there will probably still be mistakes.**

 **I don't own Blue Bloods or anything related to it. But I'm super glad season 9 starts in less than 3 weeks.**

 **Please enjoy.**

Chapter 9:

"No."

I let her words sink in, though the reality of what she has just said escapes me.

"What do you mean, no?" I question confusedly

She takes a deep breath and takes a moment to formulate the words for her response.

"I don't want Malina to meet your family until I do," she states.

"Why? They're her family Eddie; you can't deny them from seeing them—"

She interjects before I can continue; "I'm not doing that. Of course, your family have a right to see her. But you have to see this from my perspective; you expect me to send my daughter into an unknown environment, where it is plagued with resentment and anger?"

I scrunch my face in frustration; "Anger and resentment? We would never resent Malina. For you to have the audacity to think that anyone of would then you seriously don't know me at all."

"It's not Malina I am worried about your family resenting, it's her upbringing. Or maybe the fact neither you nor your family knew about her," she replies, trying to defend her earlier statement.

The words slip out before I could stop them; "And who's fault is that?"

I can see the moment hurt creeps across her face. The look is enough to feel like I've been punched in the gut. Why did I have to say that? Why did I have to screw-up the progress we have already made.

"Eddie I'm sor—" I begin, but she holds her hand up, an indication that she wished for me to stop talking. She stands up and begins to collect her belongings.

"This is why I wanted to meet your family first. They are going to have the same reaction that you just did. Like any parent, I would jump in front of a bullet for my child. Any danger that comes her, it has to get through me first. And that includes her family resenting me and projecting that onto her. I may not deserve much, but I think I deserve this." And with that, she exits the bar.

Well, shit.

 _The Next Day:_

I tentatively enter the precinct, almost afraid that Eddie is awaiting my arrival so she can continue her reprimand of me. After she stormed out of the bar, with all the right reason to, I knocked back a whiskey and made my way home. I tried calling her many times, but she never picked up. Not that I don't blame her; I would have done the exact same.

Why did I have to say what I said? Better yet, why am I still thinking it? I thought about calling Danny, but I decided that I can't keep burdening him with my problems. I got myself in this mess; I can get myself out.

On my way to the men's locker room, I stroll pass the women's and notice no sign of Eddie. I continued on to the men's locker room where I change into my uniform, share a few jokes with the guys, then join the rest of the officers for roll call. I still see no sign of Eddie and worry is beginning to creep in. Where could she be?

I'm so in-tuned with my internal thoughts that I don't notice my name is being called until the third time.

"Reagan!" Renzulli yells

"Sorry Sir."

"Somewhere better to be Mr Reagan?"

"No Sir," I state firmly.

"A distracted cop makes a dead cop."

I nod my head in understanding; "Won't happen again Sir."

"As I was saying, you're with Roman."

It slips out without me even thinking; "Where's Janko?"

"Banged in sick. Would you like to finish roll call today Reagan, seeing as you seem to be so with it today?"

I see the surrounding officers try to stifle a chuckle.

"No Sir."

Today is going to be a long ass day.

 _A Few Hours Later:_

Roman gives out his tenth burp in the last five minutes. And I got to tell you, when you're in a confined space, the stench of onions tends to hang around.

"Onions for breakfast this morning Roman?"

"Something like that."

I notice the street we turn onto and decide whether it is worth pushing my luck.

"Do you mind if we take 10? Call it lunch. I just have something to do."

"Whatever Reagan. I'm cool with it."

We come to a stop and I exit the car after informing the appropriate people.

Standing in front of the unfamiliar building, I take a deep breath and walk to the front door. I scan the list of names until I find the one I need. I buzz it a few times until I receive an out-of -breath answer; "Hello?"

"Eddie, it's me," I answer timidly

I hear her take in a deep breath, before I a buzz is heard, indicating that she is letting me up.

I enter the building and make my way up to the fifth floor before coming to a stop outside of her door. I take a final deep breath and knock on the door. I am only left waiting for a few seconds before Eddie opens the door. Even in with an oversized academy shirt, pyjama shorts and her hair in a messy bun piled on the top of her head, she still manages to look beautiful.

"Hi."

"Hey," she replies quietly.

"I'm sorry for just coming over announced, but I needed to talk to you."

"It's okay. And yeah, we have a lot to talk about." In a sign of good faith, Eddie opens her door wider and nods her head in the direction of her living room.

I walk in and my eyes immediately find the small child playing in the living room.

"Hey Mal," I say as I make my way over to her.

Once I have spoken, Malina's attention switches to me and her face lights up in recognition.

"Dada!" she announces in excitement and races over to me in her adorable toddler-self.

I catch her in my arms and hoist her up into the air; "Hi sweetheart," I state lovingly and give her a tiny eskimo kiss. Despite only having the chance to see her only a few times since our initial meeting, with no fault from Eddie, Malina still remembers who I am and her enthusiasm towards me only increases.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Eddie's soft smile. Maybe I haven't screwed up as bad as I thought I have.

With Malina in my arms, I take a sit on the floor and hand Malina the toy she abandoned to greet me. She continues on, as if she was never interrupted.

I follow Eddie with my eyes and watch her take a seat that is directly opposite me.

"Are you okay?"

She gives me a look of confusion before she understood what I was referring to; "We would have been no good to the city today if we were partnered. So, I banged in sick."

"I get that."

It was obvious that there was an elephant in the room, but neither of us were willing to acknowledge it. Or begin the conversation.

"I'm sorry for storming out," says Eddie, after deciding the silence was too much.

"I don't blame you. What I said to you was horrible."

"But it's true," she acknowledges, with a smile.

I have no reply to that.

"I'm never going to be able to give you back Malina's first few years of her life. And I have to live with that regret for the rest of my life. You may never forgive me for it; your family probably won't ever. But I can't have you throwing it back in my face every time I don't agree with something you would like for Malina."

It breaks my heart to Eddie say that. I don't want her to live her life with regret and pain.

"It wasn't fair of me to say what I said. If I could take it back, I would."

She nods in, indicating she accepts my apology.

"Do you get way I said no?"

"After you left, I took a moment to think. And I think I kind of understood why you did it. Mal's only two years old. It's not fair to introduce her into a group of people, all at once, especially in a setting where it will be full on."

"I want Malina to get to know her Reagan family. Besides me and you, that's all the blood family that she has left. I just think it would be best if I met your family first. So, I can explain my choices."

"I completely understand that. And when you're ready, then so will the Reagan clan."

Eddie gives me a soft chuckle.

Realising that I have been here longer than I should have, I give Malina a kiss on the forehead, settle her on the floor and stand to leave.

"Thank-you for letting me come up."

"Anytime. I want you to know, that whatever happens, I will never stop you from seeing Mal."

I softly smile; "I know. It's what makes you a good mother. You always put her first."

After Eddie acknowledges the compliment, I begin to exit her apartment, when, in a split-second decision, I pull out my notepad and write my fathers address on it. I then hand it to Eddie.

"For when you decide you're ready."

With that, I exit in the building and return to shift. Oh and, an onion smelling Roman.

 _Sunday:_

Today was supposed to be the day that I introduce Malina to my family. Better yet, today is supposed to be the day that I tell my family of her existence. I'm just now understanding why Eddie may have had a point in Malina not meeting everyone. I'm here, sweating bullets; I can't imagine how she would be feeling.

I enter the house, dessert in one hand, and rush towards the table. Guess being nervous made me late as well. Not an entirely great start to this conversation.

"Sorry I'm late. Had some last-minute errands to attend to." I gesture to the pie in my, as if that was enough evidence to support my weak lie

"Your starting to making it a habit little bro," says Danny with a smirk. Yeah, he can see straight through my lie.

I give Dad a quick corner glance and see his own eyes shift to the side; looking for a two-year-old little girl no doubt. I see the disappointment creep across his face, before he gives an almost unnoticeable huff and returns to his normal stature.

I deposit the dessert in the kitchen, before hurriedly returning to the table for grace.

"Seeing as you are late Jamie, you've got grace," Pop states.

"Bless us, Oh Lord, and these thy gift which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ, Our Lord."

The scraping of utensils on the dessert plates indicates that everyone has finished. Well, almost everyone. My plate of pie remains barely untouched. I barely managed to keep down dinner, the fluttering of my stomach doing virtually nothing to help in that matter.

I see the beginning of clean-up and decide that its now or never. If I don't do it now, the longer Malina is kept hidden. I stand up abruptly, gaining everyone's attention. All their confused eyes turn towards me and it makes me feel sick.

"Uh, I um, have an announcement to make," I stumble out.

I see a mixture of confused and knowing faces.

"What is it Jamie? Are you in any trouble?" Erin asks.

"No it's nothing like that. It's kind of a life-changing announcement. I'm not quitting the force or anything like that. But things are going to change around here. For everyone."

"What's going on Jamie?" Pop asks, a hint of worry creeping in.

"Here goes nothing," I mumble softly, "I have a daughter."

Dead silence.

A look of shock transcends the table, with the exemption of Danny and Dad.

"Jamie! How could you not of told us?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Since when?"

"Are you sure it's yours?"

Everyone speaks at once, and it was almost unclear to understand who was asking what.

I put arms up with the intention to get everyone to be quiet; "Whoa…Whoa…. STOP!"

My yelling voice is enough to get everyone to stop talking, or rather throwing questions.

"Thank-you. Look, I know you all have questions. Hell, I still have questions and I'm still trying to figure everything else out. But if you just give me a bit of quiet I will tell you everything and answer all of your questions."

Their silence informs me that I should continue.

"After my break-up with Sydney, I was in a rough place. The IA investigation, trying to find Joe's killer and obviously, Sydney deciding that this wasn't the life she wanted. Anyway, I went to a bar deciding to drown my sorrows, where I meet a girl."

"So, you had a one-night stand?" Erin states accusingly.

"If that's what you want to call it Erin, then yes. But to me it was more than that. We spent hours talking before we left and went back to her place."

Danny gives a snort in response, resulting in the Reagan women to give him a look.

"Anyway, we never got each other's numbers before I left. And that was the last time I saw her. Until 6 weeks ago."

"You've known about this for 6 weeks! And you didn't think it was pertinent to tell us then?" Erin ask angrily."

"I had to come to terms with it myself. And discuss things with Eddie,"

Oops. That was not meant to slip out until later.

"Eddie! As in your partner Eddie? God Jamie" said Pop, in a state of shock.

"Wait, so Eddie has known that you were a Reagan all along?"

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean, _not exactly_?" asked Linda

"You never told me she knew about you, before actually meeting you," comments Dad.

Well, that just blew the secret of him knowing to everyone else.

"You knew!" Erin turns to him accusingly

To add fuel to the fire, Danny adds in sheepishly; "So did I"

The look of hurt that crosses Erin's face will forever haunt me.

"You told Danny before you told me! Was I not someone who could intrust with the existence of your daughter?"

"Erin it was like that."

"No. I think I have heard quite enough," she states, before storming off, carrying a pile of dishes that I know for sure will be slammed into the sink.

"Well this is going swimmingly," Danny states.

I give him a glare; "You had to go and make things worse by saying you knew, didn't you?"

He holds how hands up in surrender; "You're the one that kept her a secret for 6 weeks."

I begin to formulate a reply when I hear the doorbell ring.

"Saved by the bloody bell. I'll get it."

I exit the dining room and move towards the front door. I open it with much more intended force and what was awaiting on the other site was enough for me to know that shit was about to hit the fan.

"Eddie. Hi."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! As always, my lovelies, brutal honestly.**


	10. Guest at Family Dinner

**A/N: Here it is! The next chapter.**

 **Thank-you for all the reviews, follows and favourites. They warm my heart.**

 **Once again, please keep reviewing. I love your opinions and what you do or don't like. I take them very seriously when developing a chapter.**

 **I have read through it and tried to find any errors, but I am only human and there will probably still be mistakes.**

 **I don't know about you, but I have been super wrapped up in all things Jamko this season. The writers are doing a pretty good in portraying their relationship.**

 **I don't own Blue Bloods or anything related to it.**

 **Please enjoy.**

 _Chapter 10:_

I glance back to the dining hall; my family still bickering over the news they had just received.

Deciding that now would not be the best time for Eddie to be seen in my childhood home, I usher her outside and quietly pull the door shut behind me.

"What are you doing here?" I question before realising the harshness of my tone and rephrase my question, "Sorry, that came out harsher than I intended. I thought you said that you weren't ready?"

"I'm not really. But I know that if I had the choice, I would procrastinate this meeting for as long as possible.

"Now really isn't the best time to go in. I've just told my family. They're not exactly in the right mood to be meeting you,"

I peek a look at Eddie's face and discover a look of hurt and disappoint. But there was also acceptance and understanding laced in as well. She takes a deep breath before continuing; "I expected that response. And it wasn't exactly my intention to talk to your entire family today."

"Then what are you doing here?" I ask, confused.

"To talk to your Dad."

"You want to talk my Dad, the Police Commissioner, our boss, first?" I ask stupidly.

"Please don't remind me of his powerful titles. I came with the intention of talking to him as the mother of his grandchild, rather than an officer under his command."

Eddie's words are demonstrating a lot of strength and courage. The fact that she is willing to talk to Frank Reagan, of all people, first, tells me that she is extremely serious about ensuring my family's involvement in Malina's life.

"Are you sure you want to do that? I mean, he wasn't exactly in the best mood when he realised that I hadn't brought Malina," I question.

I watch her take in a deep breath, before nodding; "I'm sure."

"Okay. I'll bring him out here. That way it's private, and no-one else will have to know you're here."

She nods in understanding, before stepping back to lean on the pillar.

"I'll just wait here. Take your time; I'm not expecting him to be forthcoming to this meeting," she states.

In reply, I give her a nod and re-enter my family home. I can't turn back now, and I am not going to leave Eddie standing out there. If I have to drag my father out there, then so be it.

I return to the dining room to see only my father still seated; the rest I assume are continuing the clean-up in the kitchen. It would explain the rather loud clattering of dishes occurring in the background. I suppose this is the best circumstance I could ask for.

"Um, Dad. There is someone here to see you," I state quietly.

"I don't think now is the best time for visitors Jamie."

"You're going to want to see them," I state in a more convincing tone.

He turns to look me; an eyebrow raised with intrigue

"It's Eddie. She's here to talk to you."

He nods in response but does not make a move to go outside.

"Dad, did you hear what I said?"

"I heard you."

I place both hands on the table and lean forward. The look of confusion very much evident on my face.

"I don't understand. Why won't you go and meet her?"

"It isn't that I don't want to meet her. What do you suggest I talk to her about? How am I supposed to look at the woman who kept my granddaughter's existence hidden from us? How can I stand there and talk to her, and not react angrily?" he asks.

I hang my head and give myself a moment to collect my thoughts. After a moment, I return my gaze towards my father.

"There is no book on how you are supposed to react. No transcript to follow. You're angry, pissed off and for the first time, you don't know what to do next. I sure as hell don't expect you to go out there and be chummy with her and neither does she. Eddie is fully prepared to receive backlash for her actions; it's why she wants to meet the family before Malina does. But you have to give her credit for the fact that she is here. She knows perfectly well what is at stake," I state with conviction.

It takes only a moment before I witness the effect my words have on him, because he takes a deep breath, and stands. He makes his way to the door and opens it.

Eddie's back is to the door, but upon hearing it open she turns around and moves to greet my father. Given the chance, I think she might even salute him.

"Sir,' she states officially.

"Officer Janko," my father replies with a nod.

"I'm sorry for intruding on your weekend. But I owe you an explanation. Jamie explained to me that you were really looking forward to meeting Malina this weekend. There is a reason why I said no. And I wanted to be the one to tell you that in person," she offers.

"Okay," he nods before he gestures to the front stairs, "Would you like to sit?"

"If you're okay with that?"

Instead of replying, he walks to stairs and sits. His actions alone entice Eddie to follow. Before sitting, Eddie turns to give me a nod, as if telling me that it was okay. Understanding her message, I make my return to inside the house. I wish I could be a part of the conversation that is occurring outside, but I know that what is to be said, must occur only between the two of them.

But that doesn't stop me from at least viewing from the window.

The conversation between my father and Eddie has been occurring for the last five minutes. And there isn't much that I can determine of what is being said when they have their backs to me. There have just been some really enthusiastic hand gestures from Eddie.

"You know, the last time that I caught you staring intently from that window, you were fifteen and watching Stacey Richards wash her parent's car in a very promiscuous outfit," Danny states behind me.

"Dammit Danny, give a warning next time you sneak up on me," I state clutching my chest, as if that would calm my rapidly beating heart.

He gives a smirk, before moving to stand next to me. He looks to see what I am staring at and does a double take when he realises what is occurring on the front steps.

"Is that who I think it is?" he questions.

"Yeah. Came here to talk to Dad. Said that she deserved to give him an explanation."

An impressed look graces Danny's face and he gives a nod in approval; "Girl has got some balls."

I chuckle in response; "It certainly makes for an interesting tour."

Danny and I continue to observe the interaction occurring, when Danny offers the words that I rarely hear; "I'm sorry. For you know, making it worse. I shouldn't have said what I said."

"Wow. Is this Danny Reagan making an apology? To me of all people?" I ask, amusement laced within my words.

He gives me soft shove in response; "Don't push your luck kid."

We continue to watch the scene for a few more moments before Danny chimes in; "You know, Pop's is going to be really mad if Gran's dishes get smashed as a result of a particular female Reagan's anger,"

I close my eyes and grimace; I forgot about Erin.

I gesture my arm towards the kitchen; "I think I'm just going, to um, go see if they need help with anything in there."

"Smooth little bro," he mumbles as I walk away.

I walk into the kitchen with trepidation, wincing slightly as Erin slams another dish into the sink.

I gland around to other Reagans loitering in the kitchen and with a quick glance in my direction, they all scurry out.

"Hey," I say, trying to draw her attention away from the dishes.

The only indication that she acknowledges my greeting is her stiffening, but she only continues to slam dishes.

Taking a deep breath, I walk towards the counter, picking up towel to dry the dishes along the way. I stop next to Erin and begin drying, whilst maintaining silence.

Time seems to drag on and we are running out of dishes to discourage us from talking. I've almost given up on engaging in a conversation with Erin, when she softly begins with a rather vivid memory.

"When you were about five, Dad took all four of us to the park; tried to get us to burn off some energy I suppose. Anyway, Danny and I were doing our normal thing and Joe was hanging with Dad, but you, you were happy playing by yourself in the sand."

"I remember that day," I state softly.

Still without a single look in my direction, Erin continues her story; "Despite minding your own business, an older kid came over to you and smashed the sandcastle you were building. You burst into tears and the first thing you did was come running to me. You only wanted me. Do you know how much that meant to me?"

For the first time since I walked into the kitchen, Erin finally looks at me. Her expression conveying her feelings of hurt and sadness.

"I'm not upset over your daughter's existence. You're going to be a great dad; no matter what age she was when she came into your life. What I'm upset over is the fact that you didn't feel you could trust me."

"Erin, I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you. There is nobody that I trust more than you or Danny. But you have to understand, telling my sister, who is New York District Attorney by the way, wouldn't exactly gone down well."

"What exactly did you think I would have done?" she interjects.

"I don't know. Probably flown off the handle like the typical Reagan," I say, trying to inject a little humour into the conversation.

I get a small response in the form of a smile.

"I thought I was considered the level-headed Reagan?" she retorts back comically

"You're a lawyer. You lost your level-headedness the day you walked across the stage with your degree."

"You do realise you possess a law degree as well, right?" she states, with an eyebrow quirked.

"Yeah, but I'm Jamie Reagan."

We both erupt in quiet laughter, the amusement of my statement enough to take the edge off this conversation.

We continue this way until we remember the reason for this conversation to occur, and we quickly sober up.

"I wouldn't have done anything, you know? To Eddie or Malina. I may be a lawyer, but first and foremost, I'm a mother. I could never separate a mother from their child. No matter how much the situation frustrates me.

I nod in understanding and we take a moment to let the weight of Erin's words sink in. Whilst I believe Erin wouldn't have tried to separate Malina from Eddie, there is a small part of me that thinks this isn't the last time she will express her frustration towards Malina's upbringing.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I never meant for you to get hurt in all of this. I've only known about Malina for a few weeks and I'm still trying to process all the information myself. I wanted to make sure that Eddie and I were in a good place before I did or said anything."

"I respect your decision. I don't have to agree with it, or like it for that matter, but I do respect it."

Ah, a typical lawyer response. Wouldn't expect anything less of my sister.

"Are we all good?"

"Yeah. I think we're good. I hope you know that Danny is never going to let go of the fact that he knew before I did," she states

I chuckle in response and pull Erin into a high.

"A don't worry, you have plenty of things you can hold over him," is my response.

"And I will never let him forget them," she states as she pulls away from the hug before adding, "I'm sorry for overreacting."

"Don't be. You just found out you have a niece. I'm actually surprised we still have dishes intact."

She gives me a playful shove in response.

"Erin, in all honesty, it's okay. You're allowed to react in whatever manner you feel best helps deal with the news. I love you sis. I hope you know that."

"I love you too little bro," she states softly.

Our rare, sweet sibling moment is interrupted by Linda's presence in the kitchen.

"Oh sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Ah, don't worry about it. Erin and I just had a few things to work out. We are all good now."

Erin nods to reinforce my statement.

"Well I'm glad," says Linda, with a soft smile

"Do you need any help out there Linda?" I ask, realising that I left everyone with the remaining mess.

"No, we are alright Jamie, but um, your Dad wanted to see you on the front porch," she says with a confused expression.

"Oh right. Thanks for letting me know," I state and begin to make my way out.

I flick one last look in the direction of Erin and Linda, noting their similar perplexed expressions, before I continue towards the front day. I notice the front door ajar, with only my father's back visible. Stepping onto the porch, I pull the door shut behind, still only seeing my father. I come to stop next to his leaning stature.

"Scared her off, did you?" I say jokingly.

In all serious, I'm hoping he hasn't.

He turns in my direction and gives me a small smile.

"It took a lot for her to come here today. And I as said earlier, I didn't know how I would react, or how I should react. But talking to her, letting her explain her side of everything, and allowing me to ask questions, gave me some peace regarding this whole situation. I have no means forgiven her for everything, but after today, we are on our way to reach it."

"It means a lot to me for you to say that. And I know that when the news came to light, we were never to going to accept it and move on in 24 hours, but to know that you are open to getting there, makes me think of a good future," I reply softly.

"Eddie agreed to let us all meet Malina," he stated with quiet enthusiasm.

"I'm glad. I can't wait for you to meet her."

"She said she will discuss with you on the best time."

I nod my head in reply.

We continue to stand there for a few more moments, before Dad returns to an upright position and turns to return to the house.

"She's still here. Wanted to wait until you came back out. She's by her car. Said you would know which one."

I gaze up and down the street until my eyes cast towards her car. I thank Dad and as he re-enters the house, I make my way over to Eddie's car. From the distance I am currently at, I can tell that she is seated in the driver's side, the car stationary for the moment. Coming to a stop outside the door, Eddie rolls the window down.

"Hey Boy Scout," she states with her familiar smirk.

I lean down to rest my forearms on the door; "Its nice to see he didn't run you off."

"You know me, abs of steel."

I give my typical scoff and give a smart-ass rebuttal; "More like stomach of steel."

"Very funny Reagan. Your dad may have already told you, but I am happy for Malina to meet your family. Between the two of us, we just have to figure out a date that suits all of us."

"Sounds good."

"Also, you're coming over for dinner on Tuesday. We don't have a tour the next day, and I figured it would be a good chance for you to see how Malina's night schedule works. So when it's time, you can do it yourself."

"Yeah dinner sounds go—wait what! Are you implying that you're going to start letting me look after by myself?"

Putting on her aviators, she starts the car; "You heard me loud and clear. I'll see you tomorrow at Roll Call."

And with that, I watch her speed off into the street.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! As always, my lovelies, brutal honestly.**


	11. A Partner's Argument

**Gosh! I don't think there are enough words to say how sorry I am about the poor updating.**

 **There aren't enough excused in the world. But, if it helps, I have been incredibly swamped with my degree and all that comes with it.**

 **Thank-you to all those that have messaged me and encouraged me to continue this story and I promise you that I will try to update on a more regular schedule.**

 **A Guest Review posted on the last chapter and I really appreciated what he/she had to say. Just want to clarify a few things and anybody is free to respond however they choose.**

 **I've never been in a situation that is occurring in this story nor do I know anybody who has. So, I don't how I am meant to write a family's reactions, but I have chosen to write them on how I think they would. Some might say that this is not how the characters would react, but that's the beauty of fanfiction. I take what the beautiful creators of Blue Bloods have done and twist it into my own version. Also, they commented that they thought it might be too soon for Jamie and Malina to be left alone together. I'm hoping the upcoming chapters can help clear a few things up.**

 **To the reviewer who left the comment, this is no way meant to be an attack on your words. I am thanking you for pointing out an issue that you have, and I am hoping, through more reviews, we can work together to seek the issue out.**

 **If anyone else has any concerns with the story, please leave a comment and I will try to address it. But always remember to keep them kind. I am only human after all.**

 **Some of the moments from this chapter you will recognise from Season 4 Episode 4. Any direct dialogue that I use, I will italicise.**

 **Once again, I don't anything Blue Bloods related. I just put my own twist on the characters' lives.**

 **Enjoy xx**

 _Chapter 11:_

We had been on tour for only few hours, yet the tension within the car was gripping. Despite my desire to discuss everything that occurred between Eddie and my father on Sunday, every time I go to speak, nothing comes out. I am actually within two minds as to whether to talk about the conversation. It is, after all, her prerogative to decide whether she tells me or not.

I turn my head to look at her for what appears to be the tenth time in a few minutes, only to discover Eddie's eyes already on me.

"Oh, sorry," I state in embarrassment before returning my head to its original position.

"Are you saying that because you got caught, or because you were looking," she asks with a smirk.

My reply only came in the form of a quirked smile.

"For someone that always talks, this car ride is awfully quiet," I comment after a moment.

"I've been trying to figure out what to say. I know you are interested to know what occurred between your father and me. And you may not be showing it at the moment, but I can tell that you are nervous about dinner tonight. I just don't know where to start." She stumbles out.

"I'm actually at two minds whether I ask how the conversation went. It took a lot for you to come to the house and ask to talk to him. What occurred between you two can stay between you two until you are ready to discuss. Don't get me wrong, I am really intrigued to know what exactly happened, but its your business. And, regarding dinner, I'm looking forward to it," I say honestly.

"Thank-you Jamie. I mean that," she states quietly.

I give her a playful nudge in response.

"Are you sure you're not freaking out about what I said about looking after Malina?" questions Eddie.

"Can we maybe discuss that over dinner tonight? There are a few things I want to clarify."

Eddie gives out a small giggle; "Mal is really looking forward to seeing you. Even has her teapot set ready for you."

"Growing up with a sister I am used to teapot parties. I'm fully prepared to continue the tradition"

"You are a brave man."

I give a chuckle in response.

"Ooh, look a coffee van. Can we call for an early meal? I'm in desperate need of caffeine," she begs.

I turn to give her a judgemental look, but one glance towards her begging eyes, and I succumb to her needs. I pull off on the side of the road and I report to central that we are taking meal.

"You know, when I was pregnant with Malina, I had to give up caffeine. Don't get me wrong, I love that kid to death, but not being able to drink coffee for 9 months; absolute nightmare!"

My primary response was to chuckle, as I tried to imagine what Eddie would be like without her incredibly large caffeine intake, but then I allowed Eddie's words to sink in. And the reality of their meaning. I never got to experience Eddie's pregnancy. I never got to watch Malina grow or be there for every pregnancy milestone. Eddie must notice the pensive look on my face and realises the correlation between what she said and my now sour mood.

"Oh Jamie, I didn't mean anything by it. I'm so sorry."

Shaking my head, I offer a soft reply; "Don't be sorry Eddie. I can't expect you to hide your experiences, especially those that involve Malina. I just have to get used to the fact that there are things that I wasn't a part of. But what it does mean is that when I do hear them, I will appreciate them in full."

Tilting her head up towards me, she gives me a sad smile; "There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret the decisions I have made. But I am hoping with time, and probably a lot of alcohol, we can work through it, and find a common ground, where there is less guilt."

"I'm hoping for that too."

We approach the coffee van and place our order. I deliver Eddie another judgemental look when she orders an obscene amount of coffee shots, only to receive a rather harsh punch to the arm in response. We are waiting for our order when a call comes over the radio.

"All units, white male wearing an orange t-shirt wanted for grand larceny fleeing on foot. Last see on the corner of 1st and 9th."

"Honestly, I would like to know what goes through a criminal's mind when they decide to flee on foot, especially in a city this heavily patrolled," Eddie comments.

"Yeah, but if the world didn't have idiots, we would probably be out of a job," I offer in reply.

We both chuckle in response. As I hear our orders being called, I notice in the corner of my eye a man fitting the suspects description, running erratically along the streets.

"Eddie, look," I state whilst pointing out the fleeing individual.

She gave me a pleading look before she rolled her eyes in acceptance; "Damn, I really wanted that coffee."

Despite being on meal, we knew it was our duty to give chase. And chase we did.

"Are you okay?" I ask out of breath.

"Yeah. Genius here tried to have a go at me with a pipe."

"Yeah, I heard you screaming my name," I offer with a smirk.

"And that's the only time that will happen,"

We share a sultry look, even if the situation was entirely inappropriate. Eddie breaks the look by showing the phone to pulled off the suspect.

 _'Look what I got,'_ she said, pointing out the obvious.

"Now if the world didn't have idiots, we wouldn't have moments like this."

"Hey, maybe we can grab the coffee after all."

We share a smile and lead the suspect back towards the patrol car.

 _12_ _th_ _Precinct; a few hours later:_

Despite the ADA's assurance that this looked like a 'cut-n-dry' collar, when I saw Renzulli herd Eddie into his office, I knew something was suspicious. This was further confirmed when my phone began vibrating, Erin's name flashing across the screen.

Moving to a quiet corner of the precinct, I give those within earshot a quick glance before answering my phone.

"Hey Sis," I say apprehensively.

"I take it you know," she states with a sigh

"No one has explicitly said the exact words but why else would she get called into Sarge's office,"

"Jamie…. the D.A wants her shield."

"That's bullshit Erin and you know it. It was a routine collar." I state harshly.

"Jamie, Officer Janko lied. The phone she pulled off the perp, was lying on the ground next to him when Janko collared him. She told my ADA that she retrieved the stolen phone from the suspect's back pocket. There is video evidence that contradicts her statement," Erin replies firmly back.

"Give me a reason why she would need to lie Erin," I fire back instantly.

"I don't know. But I figured you would want to hear it from me. The D.A at this time, isn't going to prosecute her on perjury charges."

"But it isn't out of the question?" I state rather than question.

"At this moment, Officer Janko is just under investigation."

"Eddie, Erin. Her name is Eddie. You know, the mother of you niece. You should least give her the benefit of the doubt before you start a witch hunt for her badge," I reply before hanging up the phone.

Jesus, what the hell has Eddie gotten herself into.

 _After Tour:_

With a coffee in hand, I continue the walk to my car when I see Eddie approaching me;

 _"Reagan, can we talk?"_

"I don't think we should be talking. You're the subject of an official investigation. The only person you should be talking to are your lawyer or Union Rep," I state, whilst continuing the walk to my car.

"Come on Jamie, you know me! Give me a reason why I would need to lie?" She retorts.

"I don't know. All I know is that I was right there when you lied to the investigators. For all they know, I'm in on it and they could be coming after me now," I offer rather suddenly. I can see by her change of expression that she did not appreciate my comment.

"What happened to us being partners? _What, I get jammed up and you run for the hills_ " she fires back.

"That's not fair Eddie. You brought me into this the minute you lied to the investigators."

 _"You're fine. Nobody's is going to come after the Commissioners son,"_ she states, throwing her claim right into my face.

That was cheap shot. And she knows it because I can tell the minute the words leave her mouth, she regrets them. Doesn't take the sting away from them though.

 _"Think you're so smart right? 100 hours on the job and you've got it all figured out."_

"That's not what I meant Jamie," she states quickly, trying to backtrack on her earlier comment.

 _"You think that I get a pass because of my old man?_ You of all people should know that I have to work twice as hard as any other cop. If anything, sharing a last name with the man only puts a target on my back. _And you just made it bigger,"_ I scoff angrily before turning around and unlocking my car.

"Jamie…." She states softly.

I clench my keys in my hand, taking a deep breath before turning around to face her once more. The words burning at the base of my throat begging to be released.

"You may not share my last name Eddie, but the child you carried for 9 months, my blood runs through her veins. She is my family. And by extension, so are you. You made sure of that the minute you revealed the truth. We may still be figuring out the kinks of this co-parenting thing, but you better catch on soon, that every time you take a dig at my family's name, you take aim at Malina's family. A family you can bet, will be there for you and her, no matter what happens."

And with that, I turn around once more and enter my car, slamming the door shut behind me. I didn't bother looking into the rear-view mirror; I knew exactly what I would see. Pressing the accelerator down, I hightailed it away.

I was only home for a few hours before I received a text message, detailing an offer that still stood.

 _From: Eddie_

 _Malina is still really excited to see you tonight. Don't let what is happening between us come between you and her. Dinner will be at 6._

 _E xx_

Looking at the clock, I noted that I only had an hour to decided whether I wanted to go or not. I'm still incredibly frustrated over how the situation and Eddie's reaction played out, but was I angry enough to miss an opportunity to spend time with my daughter? If there is anything that learn from being Regan, beside how to be a cop, it's that family always comes first. Even if you are angry, upset or disappointed in them. At the end of the day, they are still your blood. And knowing my family's history, life is precious.

"Oh, what the hell," I murmur to no-one before slinging myself off the couch, grabbing the essentials and locking my apartment door behind.

This, by far, is going to be the most awkward dinner of my life.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! As always, please leave a review (honesty is awesome) and don't forget to follow this story for when an update is made.**


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